Early on in my career as a Registered Nurse I worked as a Palliative care nurse. During my 5 years as a palliative nurse many wonderful patients and their families crossed my path. I remember many of them to this day. Some of these patients were old and had lead long and fulfilling lives. Even in their dying days they were vivacious and wonderfully colourful. Then there were those who were just beginning their lives starting their families cradling their babies and now this hope for a new beginning was being taken from them.
I often thought "Why?" Why do some people have to deal with so much. For most part the patients had come to terms with what they were facing and were at peace with it. It was the impact their dying was having on the ones being left behind that was creating the feelings of hopelessness and challenging their faith and questioning "Why?"
I remember then wanting some answers as to why do these patients have to go through what they go through, why do these families have to watch their loved ones fade and become weak and fragile. To find solice for myself I came across this book:
When Bad Things Happen to Good People written by Harold S. Kushner. It was a fabulous book. The Rabbi had lost his son toProgeria and was trying to come to some understanding as to why? Why did he have to lose his son.
Last evening one of my patients who was a 47 year old female had spent the last 6 days in and out of hospital for an upper GI bleed. She was sent to us from another hospital as she required an ICU bed. This unfortunate young woman had a multitude of aliments one of which was
Scleroderma. This disease can cause a variety of medical aliments of which she was experiencing.
What I found sad, is that this disease, which is generally hereditary had already taken her father. I kept wondering what was going through her mind. Was she thinking that she was going to die this time. Why? Why her? Why now? Why after all that she has dealt with should she have this to contend with? What was in store for her?
I think I need to go and read that book again.
13 comments:
I tried to read and understand that book but to "me" it was no help, but I no it has helped many...
I think we will always ask "why" so many things happen in our lives...when my dad died at 48 I asked why...when I lost a baby 27 years ago I asked why...when I see babies and children with cancer, I ask why, etc. They say God never gives us more than we can handle but sometimes it seems to be too much. Some people seem so lucky, others have such bad luck...I guess it's just part of LIFE. I'll have to look for that book!! Hugs xox
I don't know how you do what yu do day after day! It would wear me and my emotions down....you are an awesome lady!
I agree with Pea, I know they say God never gives us more than we can handle but sometimes I wish He didn't trust me so much!!! My daughter has that saying on a pillow in her home, but I don't know who originally said it.
I think being a nurse would be one of the most difficult jobs in the world. You're right on the front lines.
When I was 15 one of my best friends died of Hodgkins Disease. I couldn't understand how that could happen to someone so young. I still think about her.
By the way, I read over a couple of your past blogs, and I read the one about the blogging etiquette. You don't have to worry... your blog is always great and you never offend anyone. Blog hopping is not a "patented" term and you had every right to use it.
So, is Qualicum Beach still there, or have you been blown away by the hurricane force winds yet? You should SEE Stanley Park. It's heartbreaking. It's just mowed down...!
Cheers to you,
Josie
I'm trained in Palliative care. I finished the course and was about to start my Palliative care work, but I found myself still grieving the loss of my daughter. A few years later my mother took ill and I found myself becoming my mother's Palliative caregiver. Many times I have asked myself why, why must people suffer? I will have to read the book that you suggested.
When I was dealing with my injuries my Mom gave me a book I was reluctant to read, it sounded preachy and boring (I really hate preachy).
The book is called "Where is God When it Hurts" by Phillip Yancey. It is neither preachy or boring and looks at pain in an open, honest, refreshing manner. I highly recommend it. Even if you don't believe in God it is worth the read for the perspective it gives you.
I imagine you find yourself asking yourself that question a lot..
Skittles I do find myself asking that question alot both in my professional life as well as personal. I have nursed ailing family memebers and friends. It will always be there, just something I continue to have to work through. I am not a religious person but I am a person of faith...does that make sense? I love to hear and learn how different cultures deal with illnes and death. I have experienced and so many different cultures and it never ceases to amaze me what I still have to learn.
Thank you all for your great comments.
Hey Whimsicalnbrainpan....I have not heard of that book...I think I just might check out the web..thanks for the tip.
I commend you (and my mother-she's retired now, but she was a neonatal nurse and worked in the NICU). I still don't know how you all do it, but I am so glad you do. I don't have any answeres-I ask myself these sort of questions all of the time. I will have to read the the book you mentioned and the one mentioned in the comments. I'm always searching. Always.
Blessings to you.
Libby
RN, kudos for doing the job that you do. One of the biggest lessons I have had to learn in life is to overcome the belief that life should be fair. It isn't. We will probably never know why, and that doesn't really matter. What does matter is thet you care enough to ask why and to keep providing comfort.
While our family has had less than stellar experiences with nursing staff of the various hospitals our family members have been in....I still am in awe of people who choose this career and the patience and compassion they show (mostly) for those in their care.
And as i sit here feeling sorry for myself and feeling sick..I know there are people in FAAAR worse shape and so I am away to pull my socks up and snap out of it.
My mom has multiple sclerosis, as did her mother. One of the phrases she uses a lot is ," It is what it is". When my husband was sent to Iraq for 14 months I realized that it isn't "it is whatit is" as much as "It is what it needs to be". We may not be able to understand the purpose behind the "bad" things that happen to us, but we need to have faith that there is a purpose. I have a mantra I try to say every morning,...happiness is not dependent upon my circumstances, but is a choice I freely make. I look for the good in everything. Although I may not see it now, there is a gift and a blessing in every situation..." When my youngest was 18 months old she was diagnosed with a blood disorder that left her with 0 neutrophils. I used to ask "why" and then I realized after sitting in the pediatric hematology/oncology clinic that wondering "why" was misguided. I began to look upon it as a gift that allowed us to cherish the truly important things in life...a nice car, lots of money, a beautiful, big home... all nice things to have, but ultimately meaningless when compared to the health of your child, or the companionship of your spouse...
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