As you can see, my thought for the day has to do with "Growth". It mentions character building. This, out of all the thought's for the day that I have posted so far, really made me reflect on my own life. Things that have happend to me in my life, and how it has made me the person I am today.
Character building. I use to call them hurdles. Some of those hurdles I got over, some of them I didn't and others I am stilling stepping back and taking another approach at jumping over the hurdle. When I do make it over a "hurdle" I find myself saying things like "another hurdle over what's next". That is how I felt at times. One of those hurdles for me was school.
I was never very good at school at all. In my elementary years it wasn't for lack of trying. Oh I tried, it's just that it never came natural for me. I remember when I was in grade three. In religion class a student would read a bible story and then we would talk about it. Well I remember when my turn to read the a story was coming up. I practised and practised reading that story to myself and then to anyone of my brothers or sisters who would listen to me. My day came to read in class. I was so nervous the whole trembling thing. I can do this I kept telling myself, I've practise I can do this. I started to read. The first paragraph went well but then it went down hill. I forgot how to say a word and got all flustered the teacher wasn't helpful at all. I remeber Sister Anne saying to me "somebody didn't practise" Oh but I did sister I did. The recess bell went, and I never did finish reading that story.
That was so devasting to me. Situations like that repeated themselves through out my school years. It never seemed to matter how hard I studied or prepared I would make mistakes. Finally while others were getting B's and A's I gave up. I was so tired of trying and feeling like I wasn't succeeding that I didn't want to do it anymore. In my seniors years I think I skipped more school than I attended. My parents hounded me to continue and not to drop out. I don't know what kept me going but I did. I did manage to graduate on a acedemic program but the grades were not that good.
After graduation I was planning on going to Vocational school and take a legal secretaries course. I remember going to the school with my mom and getting registered. I never made it to the first day of class. Over the summer I managed to get myself a job working for the Department of Agriculture, working in the office doing a variety of duties. I met my 1st husband that fall. I got married two years later. I thought there was no going back to school for me now. At the age of 28 when my eldest was 3 and my second child was 8 months I decided I had had enough of working in an office and wanted to go back to school. So back to school I went. Nursing school full time. Oh I worked hard. I went to school Monday to Friday all day. I would come home from school, play with my girls for a bit make dinner and after dinner the children's father would take them and bathe them and get them ready for bed. I would sit at the kitchen table for four hours every night preparing for class the next day. This went on until I graduated from nursing school. Again, I was not one who's grade were that great. Oh I questioned what the heck I was doing here. I didn't know this stuff, how can I remeber this stuff. I made myself flash cards, coloured coded things did study sessions with classmates, whatever I had to do to get myself through nursing school. As I said, may grades were ever only passing marks. I got so frustrated. What does it take, why can't I do this. It certainly wasn't for lack of trying. I never graduate with an honours or anything from nursing school but I did win the Humanitarian award and got a scholarship for that. I think the thing for me, was that I had more life experience than most of my 20 year old classmates. Here I was a mom of two, I had been married since I was 21 and had 10 years of office experience under my belt before I went into nursing school. So when it came to doing the psychosocial skills of nursing school I did excel as I could bring my life's experiences into play and tended to be a more active listener than most of my classmates.
I got a job right away after nursing shcool. Little did I know I was preganant with baby number three. I spent my first 8 months as a RN being pregnant. I was then off on maternity leave. When I went back after my daughter was born I was so nervous as I felt I had never solidified my skills before I went off on maternity leave. Oh that first year was tough. I almost gave up a couple of times. If it hadn't been for some wonderful colleagues at the time I think I might have.
When my youngest daughter started school, I knew things weren't right. She couldn't read and she didn't know her ABC's. Early on in her shcool years I met with the class teacher the principle and finally the District psychologist. After much testing it was determined my little girl has dyslexia. Through this process it was discovered that I too have dyslexia. I remember crying when I found this all out. My poor daughter what was she in for with school, and crying for me. Finally there was an answer to why I had such a hard time learning things. Why my spelling was so terrible. My math skills at times questionable. Finally, I could say to myself. It wasn't my fault. I did try all those years. It finally made sense to me. I wasn't dumb. I just learn't things differently than others and saw things differently.
Today when I tell people I have dyslexia they laugh and tell me "oh you don't" Oh but I do. Through all those years I just learn't ways to cope. Strategies to get me through. My spelling is still very bad, and I find now that I turn my letters around a lot more than I used to. Hubby laughs and says I am only noticing that now because I spend so much time on the computer blogging. Thank god for spell check.
So there you have it. Albeit a little long winded but I hope it gives you a little more insight about me.
Dyslexia may have been one of my hurdles I will never get over, but I have learn't to acknowledge it and deal with it to the best of my abilities and for that I am thankful. It has made me a much stronger, understanding and I like to think compassionate person.
If you want to know more about Dyslexia check out Dyslexia Canada
30 comments:
makes my school experiences seem like a doddle...
Great post.
You've certainly overcome many hurdles to reach your goals in life!
Thankfully your daughter was diagnosed at at earlier age and can receive some added help..
hugs!
Hello! I am a fellow RN and saw your post on Janet's site Life In Westcliffe. She and I have become friends. I work at the ER in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Also, very snowy of late. I love Janet's site and her dogs and her philosophy and her house. She is a great philosopher. Check out motherpie...she is my sister in law. That is where I encountered Janet. I will go read your dyslexia post and tell you my nephew is dyslexic...but he is going to college in the fall! I want to visit with you about nursing too. Great to find you...my son hopes to move to Vancouver, BC in Sept. He is 21. So, that's all for now. Carron in New Mexico (don't have a blog site yet)
Hi,
I found your blog through Katie's and I'm glad I did. I am also dyslexic, but it seems to be more a problem with numbers.
While I love math and can be pretty good at it, there are days when nothing makes sense. I have to be very careful when looking at med orders and entering numbers into the log book (I'm a health technician for a school).
School was a struggle for me. My "guidance counselor" said, "College will be a waste of your time and your parent's money." Gee, thanks.
However, a few years ago I got to go to college and my grades were actually pretty good (except in math). I attributed it to being twice as old as most of my fellow students.
Keep up the good work.
What an excellent post, and so honest and upfront. I really admire that, and you are a very good writer and I encourage you to write more. Also, this is such an important issue and I think you are just so brave.
I see that Karen has found your blog. She is a great person, and if you need some laughts and cheers, make sure you find some time to read her blog, as she will keep you in stitches.
I am so glad I found your blog, and I know have it linked on my sidebar. Evidently my readers are seeing that.
Have a great day.
Hugs,
Katie
I'm not dyslexic, but I have friends who are. More than one still think of themselves as 'stupid', because it was hammered into their heads that they were. For you to have overcome that, while not even knowing what you faced, is extraordinary. Your daughter will have an easier time of it, because she will have help targeted to her problem, and because of the fine example she has in you.
I'm crying now as I write this. It's ironic cause I just got done posting a comment on tomcat's blog about this very subject. My youngest daughter is gifted/dylexic and my oldest is being tested today. I think you must be an amazing woman to have accomplished what you have with your dyslexia having gone undiagnosed... like a mountain climber who climbs the most challenging face of the mountain without the benefit of any equipment. By the age of seven my daughter was chanting "I'm stupid" and telling me she was "worthless" . I will be sharing your post with her... you are an inspiration!!
By the way, in case you wanted to read my comment on tomcat's blog, it was under " Bush Favors Taxcuts For The Very Rich". I hope you take a look!
Your story is similar to mine...
I went to nursing school 2 years after graduating from High School. I hated university, I couldn't understand how to write a paper. I didn't know how to study. I never studied in high school, I was one of those who could get by with what I learned in class. After taking three years to not quite complete two years of university, I quit. I worked for a year, then got married. I decided to try nursing again, in a diploma program. I did okay, the first year.....then I too fell pregnant. I quit 6 weeks into year 2. I didn't think I would ever realize my dream. I had another son, then lost a son to a birth defect. 6 years after starting the diploma program, I decided to go back, I only had to finish year 2 to get my diploma. With two boys, a marriage that was on the rocks, and my mother living with us to help me out, I finished school. I was pregnant before I graduated. My first job was in L&D and only worked 6 months before maternity leave. My husband left us when my daughter was 1 week old. It took me 18 months to get the courage to go back to work, man that was hard. But now, I work in rural nursing in Alberta, Canada, and I have skills out the ying yang.....though, I am still terrified of ACLS.
I think my grand daughter, Amber may also have this. She struggles so hard with her school work. She has already been tested for ADD and ADHD and thank goodness doesn't suffer from these as well. Thanks for this post and also the link....
Hugs my friend. How very awesome you are to have accomplished all that you have......
A very nice post.
(I tried to comment earlier, but Blogger wouldn't let me.)
I hated school and got straight F's in every single class including gym.
Yeah, you should have heard my dad screaming about that...
I didn't get my G.E.D. until I was in my forties.
Then I began taking college classes as a homeless person.
S-h-h-h-h...
That is our secret.
Every flower blossoms in its own time.
I come here because you are a beautiful soul.
Somehow, your learning disability did not interfere with learning what is truly important.
Now, teach your daughter the joy of learning.
Good for you for learning to adapt!
I have no problem reading (or testing in school) but I can't do simple math (I can do complicated stuff if I don't have to show my work) and I can't spell. By the time my teachers caught on to this I was already in my senior year in High School and had been accepted to a college so I was never tested.
I use spell check on everything (God bless whoever invented it) and I have a link to WordWeb dictionary in my taskbar for when spell check is not available.
I hope you do know that people who have learning disabilities have above average intelligence. It has nothing to do with stupidity just how your brain is wired.
You are one amazing woman. Good for you for overcoming this obstacle without even realizing what was wrong. Courageous!!!
I'm amazed that so many are saying they either suffer from this disability or know someone or have family that suffers from it. I think each school child should be tested as soon as possible and given the help they need. Also, parents need to be educated to identify this problem early on.
I say, good for you, kiddo, for completing your degree and going on to be a highly skilled RN. I envy you in so many way.
First off Carron my friend needs some encouragement to get started on her blog. She is such a sweetheart. The things she said are so kind and mean so much to me. I hope your reading this Carron.
Anyway back on your subject of dyslexicia. I need to go read it. Lately I been not just mixing up letters heck I'm starting to mix up words.
You are a trooper to acheive what you have with this condition. I had another dear dear friend who has it. She is a wonderful and very intelligent woman as well.
I don't have dyslexia (don't think so anyway), but I'm fairly certain I was diagnosed with some type of LD when I was really young, and when I was a teenager I read about a math related LD that fit me to a T. However, because I was actually passing my classes with good grades the school refused to test me despite the fact I had totally failed my math class the previous year.
I want to thank all of you for your wonderful comments. I think however there might be a misunderstanding about dyslexia, in that one is not smart. On the contrary...some people with dyslexia are highly gifted here are some just to name a few, Einstein,Edison, Bell, Henry Ford, Dr. James Lovelock, Agatha Christie Keanu Reeve, and the list goes on.
My daughter is very intelligent, she just learns things differently. I think the sad thing with this disability is how it effects one's self esteem. To those who are just discovering this or think they might have it or someone they know have it. There is so much information on the web to help direct you. Talk to your children's teachers tell them what you suspect and demand they have your child tested. If you don't like the answer keep pushing. I had to for my daughter. I could do a whole post on what I went through in order for her to get the resources she needed.
If I can be of any assistance to anyone you can email me at smiles4u_61@hotmail.com and I will do my best to answer questions or direct to you services.
Cheers all!!!
I can't imagine going thru nursing school with all the strikes you had against you. You should be VERY proud of yourself! Thank goodness they recognize these disabilities and know how to help kids now.
What a good post. Lots of folks suffer from dyslexia but still it isn't talked about how hard it is to live with!
smalltime RN said "I think however there might be a misunderstanding about dyslexia, in that one is not smart. On the contrary...some people with dyslexia are highly gifted here are some just to name a few, Einstein,Edison, Bell, Henry Ford, Dr. James Lovelock, Agatha Christie Keanu Reeve, and the list goes on."
I think it very interesting when we know who are our heroes, or people we really look up have had disabilities and overcame so much.
Giving us the inspiration to do the very best we can. They are great people of encouragement.
Interesting link concerning the statement above.
http://www.dyslexia.com/qafame.htm
Katie
My sister is dyslexic and when she went to do her nursing training they were horrible to her! as it wasnt discovered till she 20 they said that she had developed coping strategies and they couldn't or wouldn't give her extra help with her assignments.
My mum was in hospital again at that time, so with all the stress of it she ending up quitting.
I am so glad you have managed to better yourself, but i bet it must of been really hard for you.
Well done!
Cheerio
Clairex
mary anne your daughter is lucky in that she has you for an mom and her problem has a name and she can understand how to compensate. imagine if you had that information as a child. and thanks for sharing this with us. smiles.....bee
The biggest challenge we face now is getting services. The school has given her an IEP ( Individual Education Plan) but they refuse to give her any multi-sensory based traing that is crucial to a dyslexic. They define multi-sensory writing strategies as raised line paper and pencil grips... you're right about the self-esteem being the hardest issue to deal with. It's incredibly difficult to watch your 6 year old child lie on the couch and try to will herself into running a fever because she dreads going to school so desperately. And you're also very right about most dyslexics being very bright... Charles Schwab and Stephen Hawkings as well... when it gets very tricky is if the individual falls into the extremes of each area.
There are many ways we learn to deal with our "things". You have done well. And you are there now to encourage your daughter not only through the statement "you can do it" but "you can do it and I know I've been there".
Such an honest-to-God inspiring post, RN. :-)
Hey Maryann, that was such a wonderful post. I left it open for my 25 year old daughter to read as I as sure she'd be very interested.
Crystal is a 'nursing assistant' at Peace Arch and loves it. While Crystal was in school, I never dared dream she would even finish high school, much less be interested in the nursing field - but she did both - at 24 years of age. I am one proud Mommy - let me tell you!
When Crystal finished reading your post she went on to read more and more of your blog, then we sat and discussed various illnesses, including dyslexia, raynaud's and other diseases.
Crystal was never diagnosed with dyslexia, but it sure started to ring some bells when we read about it and talked about the symptoms.
Thanks for being the catalyst to a great mother/daughter learning/bonding session.
You are an inspiration to me - and now to my darling daughter as well :)
Oh what a lovely story. You brought tears to my eyes. Right now I am applauding you.
I finally got my Masters in Library Science 3 years ago and I am in my late (very late) 40's. I know how hard it was for me, all those younsters, I was never good at public speaking to the point of having panic attacks, and that's all we did in library school. Plus, I am menopausal, so I'm trying to talk in front of class, knees shaking, and using my paper as a fan. But I did it.
You should be so proud of yourself, you did all of this with dyslexia and while raising children. My hat is off to you girl.
Libby
You know, Mary Anne, it proves what a strong person you are because even with the dyslexia (although unknown at the time) you made it through school, working in an office and becoming a nurse! School was a struggle for me too but only because I was pathetically shy! lol Learning how to cope with dyslexia has come such a long way, your daughter will not have to struggle as much as you had to. Hugs xox
Kudos to all who have posted such uplifting comments for Mary Anne. I, as her spouse, can attest to her strengths in overcoming her dyslexia. Although I will agree to her spelling abilities being somewhat lacking, I never get to watch a movie in peace. "Honey.....how do you spell...???" I always contribute. Makes me feel warm & fuzzy inside that she trusts me with the knowledge of her hidden charm. Mary Anne is indeed a strong person and I agree with all of you that she has been courageous and persistent in acheiving her goals. As we all do, she sometimes gets down on herself but with help from all of us, the support network is apparent.
M A's loving hubby,
D
Great Post!!! So many children went through the same things you did and were often labeled in the process too as being "special ed" or even worse, mentally retarded. All because science (educational, medical - whatever it falls under) was unaware of these issues!
A cousin of mine had many problems with her older son who had many difficulties in his early educational process. She fought and read and fought more with the school, etc., and finally, he was tested and they figured out he has attention deficit. This happened after my son had spent many miserable years in school and we think now his problem was/is attributed to the attention deficit syndrome too. Although I was an excellent reader and speller in school, did well enough in math, other subjects in my 1st to 9th grade years, I developed my own attention deficit issues in high school where I didn't want to do any more work than need be. Grades were ok enough that they would/could have gotten me into college then but money was the issue. Took me 32 years after graduation to figure out how to fund college! But in the meantime, other things came along in the form of some not so good behaviorial conditioning that lowered my self-esteem to almost 0 and I had to work to overcome the aspect of ADD that it brought with it and which was in full bloom by the time I did go to college. I made it through that ok, but then, couldn't get an interview to find reasonable employment within my field in this area. Not that it doesn't exist but for whatever reasons, employers wouldn't give my resume/applications a second glance which pushed the old ADD back into play on me again. I deal with it all the time now mainly for the affects it has on me pertaining to organization, time management and yes, also self-esteem. Life can be difficult enough without having an issue that can be overcome if addressed properly yet isn't for whatever reason. For you, it was the unknown factor, for me it is known but not applying daily what I know I need to do to meet challenges head on and go after them.
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