Now I don't know about you, but Valentine's has never been one of my favourite day's. As a matter of fact I think is one of my least favorite day's of the year. It rates right up there with going to the dentist, and we all know how I feel about that. I mean really, if you have a sweetie shouldn't we be telling them everyday how much they mean to us. Do we really need Hallmark telling us to express our feelings or the flower and chocolate industries telling us we love them even more if we freshen up their day with roses and sweeten them with chocolates? Again, if that special someone is so special, why do we need a special day to tell them? Do you remember when you were a kid and we use to pass out Valentine Day cards? At the end of the day you would notice who got the most cards and who didn't get that many. How cruel was that? It's funny because I used to love making up my cards and handing them out. But I guess there must have been something wrong and finally some administrator somewhere caught on that some children were being left out. The next thing you knew you were getting a class list with every one's name on it and you made out a card for all of the students. Kinda defeats the purpose of sending a card, but then at least no one felt left out.
I remember when I was newly separated and how weird it felt and how uncomfortable I felt about being single. But just for that one day. I felt like I should go hide somewhere. This was the day for lovers. Restaurants would be packed, flower shops would be buzzing, what was a single girl to do? It was so depressing. I could hardly wait for the day to be over, so I could get on with things. I remember one time getting a bottle of wine and calling my girlfriend who was also single at the time and we sat around drank wine and had appies and bashed Valentine's day.
So what is Valentine's Day really all about? Do you know? I don't, not really. I know it is based on the story of St. Valentines. So, being who I am, I did a little research and this is what I found out.
St. Valentines the martyr, was a bishop who was imprisoned by Claudius. You see Claudius felt that married men were more emotionally attached to their families , and thus would not make good soldiers. So to assure quality soldiers Claudius banned marriage. Valentine,seeing the effect this had on the young men and their mates, met them in a secret place and joined the couples in marriage. Claudius learnt of this and had Valentine arrested. Claudius was impressed by Valentine's conviction and tried to convert him to the Roman ways but Valentine refused to recognize Roman Gods and even tried to convert Claudius. On February 24, 270 Valentine was executed.While Valentine was awaiting his fate, he came in contact with his jailor. The jailor had a blind daughter. The jailor requested Valentine to heal his daughter. The story goes that through Valentine's faith the daughters sight was restored. Just before his execution, he asked the jailor for a pen and paper and signed a farewell message to the jailors daughter "From Your Valentine" a phrase that is used to this day! If you would like to know more you can check out this Valentine site for more information.
So do I acknowledge Valentine's day? Yes. Do I make a big deal out of it? No. If hubby would like to get me flowers or something fine, but I tell him not too. I suggest we go grocery shopping buy something special for dinner that we both participate in preparing it and have a candle light dinner and just enjoy each others company.
Don't mean to be the grinch who stole Valentine's Day, but am I alone in thinking that Valentine's Day is over rated?
28 comments:
I love your take on Valentines day...I do believe they were putting the stuff out at Walmart the day after Christmas and the day after Valentines they'll be putting the chocolate bunnies out...I get so sick of it at times.
You are right...we should show our loved ones we love them every day!!
:-D
Well being single, you are right about the fact of sometimes feeling like you should be hidden away from all the couples! Everywhere i look theres hearts,cards, chocolates and teddies!
But as i am quite happy being single at the moment, i am going to a beer festival this valentines to celebrate the fact!
I loved finding out about the history of valentines, thanks for that.
Claire
I never minded Valentine's Day but I think it's more for young lovers who aren't married yet...a special day just for them. After you're married, it's just like any other day! lol As Tammy said, they had the Valentine stuff out right after Christmas and while I was at the mall today, I noticed the Easter stuff is already being put out!!!
If I EVER got anything from hubby on Valentine's Day, my birthday, our anniversary, Christmas, or any other holiday, I would fall down in a dead faint. If I don't buy it for myself, I don't get it. So, woo hoo to everyone who thinks Valentine's Day is "great." It's only great for the retailers making everyone feel like an idiot if they don't spend $100 on a dozen roses or some such. I have better use for my money, thank you very much. I agree with you, if you can't express your love every day in every way, why wait for just one day of the year?
OK, I may be in the minority here, but here's my take from having been married 40 years! We celebrate our relationship every day, but we try to do something extra special on that day! I still enjoy the romance, hearts and flowers.
If I was single, I might feel differently, but that was a very long time ago!!
:)
I completely agree with you that Valentine's Day is overated and we should tell the people we love that we love them every day. I used to absolutely hate Valentine's Day.
However I have a boyfriend that I love very much now. I tell him this all the time. I spoil him as much as I can and as often as I can. But I love Valentine's Day it gives me an excuse to surprise him with a little something extra. I can not afford to do this all of the time since I am on a very limited income. It is one of four times a year that I plan on setting aside some money to give him a little something. I know it doesn't matter at all to him if I get him something or not but it matters to me. I like making him smile.
I must also admit to being a chocolate whore and any reason to get some chocolate is a good reason.
I'm also not fond of Valentine's day. not because I'm single tho I am [thoroughly by choice] but because it has become Hallmark's Day or FTD's Day.
once, it may have had some significance, but now it's just another way to separate as many people from their money as possible. and, the companies will stoop to making people feel less-than for not being in a relationship if it will fatten their bottom lines.
***
that said, thanx for the history lesson. hadn't known that and it's interesting.
I don't mind Valentines' Day, but I do think it is just another day for Hallmark and American Greeting to rake in the money! I like your idea of grocery shopping and buying food you both like and preparing it together, then cuddle in front of the TV (or go for a ride) and enjoy each others company!
Your post really struck a nerve here as it brought back all kinds of memories of card exchanges as a kid and the comparisons later as to who got the most or the prettiest valentines. And then, as an adult - when you are alone, single parent, whether it is a fresh wound or one scarred over after many years - it seems to open again the old loneliness feelings of not being part of a couple on that day. (That and New Year's Eve too) But, like Christmas often seems to be way to commercialized, I think Valentine's Day is as stated above, another way to separate people from more of their hard-earned money. So, if you think feeling this way qualifies you to be the grinch who stole Valentine's Day, then you are far from alone there!
i think most holidays cause this same feelings in some, me? i agree. but sarge feels this way at christmas! and always has.... smiles, bee
The best thing about Valentine's Day is my Husband works as a Bartender/Waiter at a resturant and business booms on that day! He will make $250 - $300 in like 4 hours! That is the only good thing about it!
I'm with ya on this one. Course I don't like any holiday for the simple fact it make so many feel unhappy, disappointed, unloved instead of the other way around.
Like you not a great fan of holidays. Valentines day doesn't come with all the stress it just brings heartbreak for some when they get left out.
I'm so over all that stuff from years of disappointment.
I hate Valentine's Day. I think I had a b-friend once or twice and I didn't even get to see the on the actual day. All the other years I've been single and NOT happy about it, so on Valentine's Day I normally try to keep low and avoid the happy couples.
At least my mother gives me chocolate.
Very nice post.
When I have been involved, I have enjoyed the holiday, but I agree, RN. When I'm alone, it bring the loneliness home.
I'm back today 01/01 and I've just came from K-mart...guess what I saw?? They have the Easter things out!! Now this is really too much!!
grrr!!!
What an interesting story about the first Valentine... thanks for sharing it!
I used to like Valentine's Day as a kid, but it just seems so depressing for so many people now.
Just a simple bouqet or an enjoyable dinner sounds pretty good to me :)
I never knew how it got started! That's pretty cool.
I used to love having my mom buy me a cheap box of Valentine cards for me to fill out back when I was young. In our school though you had to give every classmate one.
I don't feel particularly MORE romantic on Valentine's Day. We do exchange cards, but I'm with you on the special dinner.
My ex, when he would remember, would go buy me a card, bring it home and toss it on my lap. Unsigned. Still in the bag.
Valentine's Day happens to be the anniversary of the birth of Jack Benny.
If Jack were still alive today, he'd be about to turn 39.
Anyway, how could anyone spend money on Jack Benny's birthday?
That's what I always say....
And then I duck.
I never really got into Valentines Day either, but my most bittersweet V-Day was four years ago... I spent the entire day laying on the couch, paralyzed with loneliness and fear , waiting for the phone to ring... my husband would call me during brief breaks in chaos as he and his fellow soldiers prepared to board a plane that would take them to Iraq for their 16 month deployment... late that afternoon I reluctantly answered a knock at the door. It was a deliveryman with two dozen long-stemmed red roses from my husband with a card telling me to close my eyes and feel his arms around me from that moment and foever on...
Valentine's Day hasn't always been a big day here in Australia. It came more with the American influence and has only been getting more recognition in the last 10 or so years.
We might acknowledge the day and might send flowers but that's about it.
However, I have friends who've been married for more than 25 years and they make it special to encourage their young adult children that it's good to have special days to celebrate too.
Yopu have made a number of valid points in the post. I have always believed that Holidays were for the malls and big box stores. Valentines day should be 365 days a year... well not the chocolates 365 dayes a year....
Nah you are far from being alone who thinks Valentines day is overrated. But that’s the things, nowadays most of the holidays have been to commercialized and that you lose the essence of the holiday. How many knew about St. Valentine seriously?
There shouldn’t be a need to have a day to declare your love to your loved ones, but unfortunately we might need it. It’s so easy to take each other for granted, and if it is a commercialized event and cheesy hallmark card that we need, so be it.
My sentiments exactly. I refuse to be made guilty by the media, Hallmark, Norman Rockwell paintings and just about every woman's magazine about any of the holidays.
I have never cared for Valentne's Day either because it brings out in "bas relief" all the lonely people, and that makes me feel sad, just as when we were in school. But our little Freddie was born on Valentine's Day, and I tell him he was his mom and dad's valentine gift that year, so now Valentine's day is special for me, and not just an artificial holiday.
What a great post and a great subject.
Cheers,
Josie
I've always enjoyed it. :D We've always made it a family thing rather than a romantic thing. Even when I was single with no prospects in sight, I liked hearing from and sending things to my mom. Even though she and I and my family now love each other 365 days a year (or did, in her case -- she passed away last year), it's nice to set aside a time to do a little something special for them.
However, my single son called Valentine's Day one years S. A. D. -- single awareness day. :) So, yeah, I can see that side of it.
I like your take of doing something special together.
The chap is absolutely just, and there is no question.
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