Well it's Thursday so here is some humour for today.............
This is the greatest application ....what a guy!!! He should live to be a really old fella with that attitude!
This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas .
They hired him because he was so funny.....
NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Bastard)
SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who
will cooperate)
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available . If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT : My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment .
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP
TO 50 lbs.?:Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be 'Do you have a car that runs?'
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no!
On my breaks - yes!
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
NEAREST RELATIVE....7 miles
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.
***Old People Rock***
Hope you all have a great Thursday!!!!
12 comments:
I especially appreciated the health insurance cartoon! Hopefully no exec from my insurance company will ever see that ;)
These were great Mary Anne - a nice treat to start the day.
Thanks for the laughs. The job application was a riot. I think I would drive off the road in hysterics if I saw the road signs.
LOL those really made me chuckle!
These are hilarious. Thanks for a few laughs in a long, boring day!
The Canadian Goose survey made me chuckle, probably since we are part of the 82%, but I am proud to call Powell River home now. - Margy
These are SO funny! I particularly enjoyed the Canada Goose one. And I've actually heard that story about the grumpy old b*stard only it was about a 16-year-old looking for his first job - and got it.
The road signs were hilarious!
LOL! Thanks for the laugh. :-)
I love the job application!!! That was HILARIOUS!!!
I love the application!!! Wonderfully hilarious!
Dirty Dick's should be a national chain secretly owned and operated by Dick Cheney.
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