What do you think?.....

So what did Humphrey Bogart....

James Dean...... and The Rat Pack............

all have in common?

Give up.....it was a Zippo lighter... Yes they all used a Zippo lighter in their movies and in their personal lives.Do you remember Zippo lighters? These movie idols somehow romanticize the art of smoking a cigarette...Humphrey Bogart as he pulls out his Zippo from his long trench coat pocket....offering to light Lauren Bacall's cigarette. Oh yes it was all so sultry and romantic wasn't it. It was common place in those days to not only smoke on the movie set but in the movies. You certainly don't see much of that anymore.

These lighters are still very popular and are quite a collectors item. Apparently you are considered cool and in vogue if you have a Zippo.

So where am I going with this. Well my hubby and I found out the other day that his boys step dad bought both of the boys ages 13 and 15 Zippo lighters. Now these are not your Bic $1.49 lighters....I'm talking lighters that start in the $20 -30 range and up....So my question is why, why would he buy the boys these? I mean what are lighters used for.....lighting a fire, lighting a candle, lighting cigarettes or recreational drugs. So being teenagers I'm thinking what would the need be for one of these? I don't support them smoking cigarettes or recreational drugs.....I am certain that I wouldn't want them starting any fires unless we were having a campfire...and if that were the case I certainly would have an alternate lighter for that...and again as for lighting candles...well I am pretty darn sure they wouldn't be out there lighting candles....so I ask the question again....why would they need one of these lighters?

I am upset about this.....hubby thinks I am silly. He said he had one when he was their age....and I said yeah...that was because you were smoking...is that what you want and besides...you bought it yourself......their step father bought these for them.....that is just wrong. Again, my hubby thinks I am making to much out of it. Maybe I am...but my gut tells me not.

These two young lads like to play with fire...they like to see things melt...they like to light fires....as far as I am concerned they are a tad over zealous about fires.....my antennas go up.....but hey....I am just the step mom....their overly protective mother obviously doesn't think there is anything wrong....the father and step father don't seem to think there is anything wrong...guess it's just me...I must be the nut ball in this situation....One of my brothers had an interest in lighters and fires when he was little...you know what happend....he ended up burning down the family home....my parents lost everything....my mom ended up running out of the house dragging four children.....my other brother ended up burning down the stairwell in another, all because of his infatuation with fire and lighters. I would hate to see this happen to my step sons. The only reason we found out about these lighters was because while youngest son was taking to my hubby on the phone his youngest son was yelling at his brother about lighting and flashing his Zippo lighter at him. Hmmmmmmmmmmm.......

I guess this is another one of the Venus and Mars things. You see I never raised boys....I had three girls....they weren't into Zippo's or lighting fires. My eldest and middle daughter are no angels they do smoke and I believe my middle daughter did own a Zippo at one time until it got stolen...but she was 19 and bought it herself. Lesson learnt. My sixteen year old doesn't smoke and has never tried to smoke...it's not her thing. So the question again...why?

As an adult and if your were a collector or something like that fine...but 13 and 15 years old....hmmmm. I just shake my head....and write a post about it...because this is one battle I will not win, nor will I attempt to put on the table....I write about this more so for me to vent frustration because I don't understand...and like me I always want to know what others would say or do.....

So readers.....what are your views....

All in a day.......and then some

Goodness sakes...here we are the close of another day....dang where does time go?

Well I know exactly where time goes....yesterday I started work at 1600 hrs..that would be 4pm...my scheduled shift was until midnight..but then I was on call until 0600 in the morning.....as it would turn out...I ended up staying at work until 0600 this morning....yup ...pulled a 14 hour shift...with a hour drive either way on top....very long night....I was saying to my hubby....I knew my eyes were open when I was driving as I could see the semi in front of me...but gosh it was like I was in limbo land whilst I was driving.....he said I could have been sleeping....but my eyes were open I said....his father confirmed that I could have been sleeping and proceeded to regale me with a story of hubby doing the exact same thing last year. After contemplating this I thought it might have been possible...as I remember looking down at my speedometer and I was only doing 90Km in a 110km zone...and I felt like I was swerving ....hmmmmm.....glad I was close to home. Windows open, music playing loudly...but finally my turn off approached and I was only 600 meters from home....

I arrived home exhausted....funny...I can't remember the last time I worked a night shift that I ever felt that exhausted....then it dawned on me.....normally on night shift we get a rest period...not so last evening...you see...we kept hoping that we would be able to send the patient to the ward...that wasn't going to be the case...the patient when not in pain...didn't want to breath....breath damn you ..... breath I say!.......but no...it wasn't meant to be...so we did a bedside vigil.....between counting respiration's and giving analgesic there wasn't much time for having a little nap.

So needless to say I arrived home tired and hungry and exhausted. I had a quick bite to eat....while I was sitting on the couch...I could feel my eyelids getting heavier....and before I knew it I was gone....yes gone off to la la land.......I do remember hubby putting a blanket around me.....3 hours later I awoke...still in my clothes.....I made my way up to my bedroom....undressed and made my clumsy way into my bed. Next thing I remember it was 1230 and hubby had come into the room to get ready to go out.....WOW it's 1230 already.....how did that happen?

I got up shortly there after.....he told me he was making a trip to Victoria with his father today and reminded me that it was his parents wedding anniversary. Ah the anniversary....in my daze state...yes yes I remember I said.

I got myself up and out of bed....managed the stairs without tripping and made it to the kitchen were the coffee was on....pour myself a cup of java....and proceeded to the couch....Hubby had left by this time.....I started thinking...it's his parents anniversary...we have to do something....what can we do...ah....dinner.....I can cook them dinner make a nice dessert and get them a card....yes that is what I shall do.

Energy....that is what I need....find the energy to get ones butt up off of the couch and get a move on.....slowly....yes....one butt cheek then another...yes yes that's it....I've managed to get my butt up off of the couch....it's all good....progress will be made....back to the kitchen I go.....I head towards the drawer where I keep all my recipe books......with mother in law being a diabetic and trying to watch her intake I think what can I make....father in law is not fond of cheese so the dessert can not consit of cheese....sorry honey no cherry cheese cake tonight. I scourer my way through the recipe books. I come upon my "Company's Coming " cookbook....this cook book is Low fat recipes....great I think....low fat...and I could watch the sugar....I search the pages.....I thinking comfort food. I find a great recipe for Corn Chowder....now that's comfort food...then I think what could I add...well a nice loaf of organic baked bread...warmed and cut in large pieces and served with low cal margarine...yes.....then veggies.....I decide I am going to make a salad....fresh greens with arugula lettuce, mandarin orange slices, roasted pecans, and red peppers....after mixing these I toss them with a mandarin sesame seed dressing...very light and oh so tasty.....Dessert....yes I searched the Low Fat recipe book for a dessert...what do I come up with is a Lemon Poppy seed Bundt cake with a Lemon glaze.

Ok now I am armed with my recipes...I check my cupboards to see if I have all the ingredients....most I do...but some I realize I will have to venture out to the store....but not until I get my house chores done.....did I mention I am doing this after working a 14 hour shift....ok then. So I get the house chores done...and off to town I go.....shop away. Like most even though I have come prepared to the store with my list.....I find I purchase more than what is on my list....how does that happen? Regardless, I have my ingredients of torture....no really, I was looking forward to preparing this meal. I pay for my groceries and make my way home. I call mother in law to make sure she is up to coming over for dinner. She happily accepts the invitation. I set a time. I am now on a mission.

It's after four pm by this time....I plan out my course of action. Make the cake...get that in the oven...while that is baking I can be preparing the chowder and the salad....mission accomplished. Cake is baked...out of the oven it comes. I make a lemon glaze.....but while the cake it cooling I prepare the table.....set semi formal....comfortable...yet enough to show that some effort was put into preparing things....nothing over the top.

Hubby and father in law arrive home sooner than I expected...but being who I am...I was prepared.....dinner was almost on the readyto serve. Father in law went home to get mother in law...they arrive and we sit down to our meal.

So here's to two of the most important people in our lives......M & R aka Mom and Dad...aka Papa and Nana....here's wishing the both of you a wonderful day....Happy 54th Wedding Anniversary to you both...you have brought so much joy to so many....Thank you!

This picture is of my inlaws...my hubby is the little one sitting on his mommy's lap....with his sister and brothers' next and then Daddy"O! Circa 1965

Lest We Forget.................

November 11th is the day dedicated to remember those who lost their lives to provide us with freedom and peace. Last year I mentioned that while I was doing the Flu Clinic I met a great great niece of Lt. John McCrae the author of In Flanders Fields. Lt. McCrae was a young Canadian doctor, born in Quelph Ontario.

On August 4, 1914, Britain declared war on Germany. Canada, as a member of the British Empire, was automatically at war, and its citizens from all across the land responded quickly. Within three weeks, 45,000 Canadians had rushed to join up. John McCrae was among them. He was appointed brigade-surgeon to the First Brigade of the Canadian Forces Artillery with the rank of Major and second-in-command.

Just before his departure, he wrote to a friend:

It is a terrible state of affairs, and I am going because I think every bachelor, especially if he has experience of war, ought to go. I am really rather afraid, but more afraid to stay at home with my conscience. (Prescott. In Flanders Fields: The Story of John McCrae, p. 77)

He took with him a horse named Bonfire, a gift from a friend. Later, John McCrae sent his young nieces and nephews letters supposedly written by Bonfire and signed with a hoof print.

In April 1915, John McCrae was in the trenches near Ypres, Belgium, in the area traditionally called Flanders. Some of the heaviest fighting of the First World War took place there during that was known as the Second Battle of Ypres.

In the trenches, John McCrae tended hundreds of wounded soldiers every day. He was surrounded by the dead and the dying. In a letter to his mother, he wrote of the Battle of Ypres.

The day before he wrote his famous poem, one of McCrae's closest friends was killed in the fighting and buried in a makeshift grave with a simple wooden cross. Wild poppies were already beginning to bloom between the crosses marking the many graves. Unable to help his friend or any of the others who had died, John McCrae gave them a voice through his poem. It was the second last poem he was to write.

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders Fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders Fields.

- John McCrae

A little Barbershop anyone......

Yesterday hubby and I had the most enjoyable afternoon with his parents. His parents are big fans of Barbershop music. Every year they attend a performance held by a local group....well local meaning the members for the group come form all over the Island. Anyhow, this year father in law asked if we would like to join them and then go out for dinner afterwards. Well my goodness how could one turn down such an offer.

A couple of years ago father in law and hubby had hired a quartet from this group to come and serenade mother in law and I for Valentines day. It was a surprise to say the least....we had been at a gathering and the group sang to us but the others present got to enjoy the performance as well.....

Valentine's 2007 This group is called "First Dibs"

So yesterday as I said was the "Tidesmen Barbershop Chorus" annual performance. This years theme was titled Bootleg Barbershop. The whole first half opens with an introduction to the era...1930's the crash on Wall Street and the great depression. The scene is set as a Cabaret Club struggling to make ends meet....the gangsters....the first song..."Cabaret".

The first half progresses with songs from the whole chorus and then songs sung by individual barbershop groups. It was really delightful...the first half ends with them singing "I'll Be a Song and Dance Man Again."

The second half starts off with the Tidesmen version of Barbershop Quartet Idol. They had five quartets supposedly competing for the top honours... with sudo judges and all. The judges of course were a take off' from American Idol....the names had just been changed a tad.....There were some great songs.....After that they had the 2005 International Quartet Champions "Realtime". They were fabulous, kind of reminded me of the Nylons when I saw them live back in the 80's....very professional.

What I found amazing about the Tidesmen Chorus was the age range....there were performers as young as 16 and as old as....well I really don't know...but the one old gentlemen on the end did give me a scare...I thought once or twice he might topple over....maybe he was a spry 80 something.....I think what was so enjoyable about the afternoon was that the performers all seemed to really enjoy what they were doing. It was nice to see.

A big thank you goes out to my wonderful inlaws for providing hubby and I a very enjoyable afternoon.

Today was a very busy day. I find now that I only get two days off that I certainly try and cram alot into one day. I was up early and finally finished sewing the shower curtain I was making for our bathroom....I will take pictures and post once the bathroom is completed...it's coming along great though....

Seeing as the rain had subsided for awhile, I thought I should take advantage and get outside and clean up my garden and get the tulip bulbs in the ground. Success I got it done...the dead brush all cleared away...the soil turned...the hedge trimmed....the porch swept...yippee....

After that I decided I wanted to bake these squares I had seen on Pea's blog. She had this recipe for Toffee Almond Squares....oh my goodness they are fantastic....I baked them for hubby but of course I had to try one....he ate the whole plate I put out....ooops....great recipe Pea thanks!

While I had the base for the squares in the oven I decided I needed to get onto my stepper....so half hour later I was done and so was the base for the square.....I made the topping and popped it into the fridge so it would be ready for dessert. By this time it was getting ready for dinner....so create I did.....I am a bit of a multi tasker....while dinner was in the oven I decided I needed to get some laundry done and vaccum the laundry room.....hmmmm....bit compulsive I think...lol

Anyhow, dinner is done, the dishes are clean..hubby is sound asleep on the couch....I am making this post...then I will go work on my knitting and just chill till bed time.

Hope you all had a fantastic weekend.......stay happy and healthy all....

I'd like to leave you with this thought.....

"Hope, is the thing with feathers That perches in the soul.....And sings the tune without words And never stops......at all"

~Emily Dickinson~

Saturday Scavenger Photo Hunt

Once again I haven't posted on the hunt for awhile....but this weeks theme is "Together". The first thing that comes to mind of together is being together with family and friends....and then I thought I needed to be a bit more creative than that....so here is my interpretation of "Together"......

These are some onions I pickled they are close "together" in that jar........

My hubby's foot and an oyster, they are close "together"....I think he was trying to show how big that oyster was..his foot is a size 13....

Or these flowers on the stem...they are close "together"

As you can see there are lots of things that can be "together".....if you would like to join in on the fun please go to tnchick for all of the instructions.

Happy Hunting all!

It's that time again......

So it's Flu season again. Today I did the first flu clinic of the season for the doctor's office. It was a busy day as always.

I couldn't believe that I have been doing the flu clinic for three years.

I really get great enjoyment out of doing the clinics. I get to see these people when they are generally healthy and happy. It's really a great time. Living in a seniors community going out to the flu clinic is a social event for them. Funny how that happens. Who would of thought that going to the doctors to get a shot in the arm would be considered a social outing, but for many that is exactly what it is.

Today I gave over 150 injections. I tell you.... if I don't know how to give a shot by the end of a day like that..I don't think I ever will. Actually, by the time I have finished doing the clinics I would have given close to 600 injections. That's a lot of people, but wonderful people.

I feel really fortunate to be able to enter into their lives if only for that brief moment. For some this is their first visit to the doctor's office since I gave them their shot last years. Now that I find amazing...how some people can go a whole year without having to visit a doctor. Good for them I say....they are doing something right. Maybe they can teach me a thing or two.

Anyhow, here is my public announcement....if you haven't t had your flu shot yet..please do, especially if you live with or have close proximity to a senior or someone who is immunocompromised....consider it your good deed for the day and year!

Stay healthy all!

Thought for the day......

~FAITH~

I believe in the ever lasting magic of life. I follow hope, guided by inspiration and faith - knowing that I am lead to what is good and true.

~author unknow~

The kindness of others.....

Do you remember the Andy Griffith Show.....with Gomer, Opey and the gang? When I think of that show it makes me think about my smalltown. My town where most people know each other by name or a least to say hello. There is always a welcoming hello at the grocer or at the one pump gas station. A community that bans together when someone is in need. Yesterday I experienced this kindness from our letter carrier.

We don't get home delivery, we have those super boxes that the letter carrier comes and deposits the mail for the folks in the area. As part of this mail box delivery we have a mailbox attached. The other day I had put a thank you card into the mail for my colleagues who I had lunch with last week. Unfortunately in my haste I forgot to put a stamp on the envelope. You know what my letter carrier did. She went and paid for my postage...she took my card to the post office, and paid for my stamp. Yesterday in my slot was a receipt for the stamp...which is totally ok with me.....I just thought it was so kind and thoughtful of her to actually take the card in the first place.

I am not sure that had I lived in the bigger city if the letter carrier would have done that. I guess that is just another one of the small perks to living in a Smalltown.

Well here's hoping you all have a great weekend and some kindess is sent your way...or better yet...you spread some kindess......cheers all!

What to do what to do......

The American Presidential election is on Tuesday. Many Canadians have been watching closely the debates and the election campaign over the past year.

Some of my very dear Canadian blogging friends have been watching the campaign very closely and are starting to voice their opinions and opening up their blogs for debate. One such blogger is my dear friend Leslie. For the past two days now Leslie had been posting her opinions on the candidates and which one she is favouring. It has been a great debate. I love reading learning about both sides, and how one individual can interpret the same thing so differently. Fascinating.

Today over at Leslie's blog the discussion continues about the candidates. Being who I am I just couldn't sit silent. I had to make a comment and a long comment it was....Sorry Leslie....here is what I had to say.....

".....After reading your post the first two things that came to my mind were senility and pompous.....

I have to be honest....I don't like either candidate...and I am sorry that is all they have to vote for.

I have said time and again, that I was and still am astounded at the multi millions of dollars that have been spent on this campaign. I look at how long we had to put up with the Hilary and Obama road shows...to me it was and is absolute silliness....monies that could have and should have been put back into programs or creating jobs....it's shameful.

Pompous...that is how I see Obama...I really don't like the oh poor me card nor do I like how (and I know I might get in trouble for this)... he plays the Black American act and hopes to get votes based on his race...that's just wrong....show me what you can do....show me how you are going to change things....get those jobs back....get the economy moving again...and then maybe just maybe I might have some faith in what you say.

Senility "senility , deterioration of body and mind associated with old age"...."The mental changes associated with senility include impairment of judgment, loss of memory, and sometimes childish behavior." Sorry but that is how I see McCain. Not for the life of me could I see this man running a country....again in my humble opinion he doesn't have what it takes...he would be far to dependent on his staff to "help" direct him....and although I can appreciate that this has been the case for all presidents...it's just that I don't see this man being able to make a decision on his own nor with the direction by his staff I also feel he could be to easily swayed by his staff....I have watched him in action....I wouldn't trust him to walk across the room with a glass of water without spilling it....never mind trying to run a country.

There is to much at risk to even entertain him as president. But again...what are their choices....

Jobs need to brought back to the American people and stop selling them off to foreign lands....health care programs need to be established so people don't lose their homes because they have had the misfortune of having a chronic disease....the children of the future need to be given a chance. They need and deserve a good education, with appropriate class sizes and resources given to the teachers to help make our children flourish.

Like you Leslie, I went back to school after my second daughter was born to become an RN...I paid my own way through school...I didn't get any government support....and like you I worked during school down time. No trips to Florida or sunny get a ways.....however with that being said...I did put monies aside in RESP's for my girls....just to help them get started...it is then up to them to make their choices.....and they know that....

However with that being said...sometimes people just need a little help to get started...a little financial support to get their foot in the door...I don't think there is anything wrong with that....everyone wins in programs like that...we help Susie or Johnny get their education...they then get employment in their field and they start paying into the system...and so the cycle goes.

I am not sure why it has to be every man or woman for themselves...is there no room for a collective we? Don't we all benefit when we have a healthy economy? There are many components that make up healthy communities and with the fall out of a healthy community you have a healthy economy.

In healthcare we call that Prevention. If we put money into prevention...we save dollars in the long run. How you might ask...diabetes for example...if we put money in to education on diabetes the millions of dollars that are saved on hospital visits and surgeries is amazing...teaching a diabetic the right foods to eat helps keep their blood sugars under control...no hypo or hyperglycemia...hence no emergency room visits and hence dollars saved.

That is just one of many many examples of where as a society if we put money into prevention...whether it be healthcare, education, social programs, environment,job market...we create a healthier environment.

So back to Obama and McCain...pompous or senile....hmmmm

I'm glad I don't have to vote in this one...but I will be watching."

I would encourage any of you who are interested or concerned about this very important election that you get informed.....check out

Leslie's blog and join in on the debate.

Birthday's and such.....

Well my youngest really enjoyed her Birthday party on the weekend. A good time was had by all. Catching up with family. Seeing people I haven't seen since the summer. It was a real treat all the way around. I was hoping to share some pictures but our camera was misbehaving....but here is one of her opening her gift from her dad...it's an iPod....the mask she is wearing is one I got her last year for a mascaraed ball....and well the tiara was a must.....all Princess's for their 16th Birthday have to wear a tiara don't ya know.....

And here is a photo of her Birthday cake.....it was a carrot cake....I am told it was very yummy....I don't know about you...but when I am organizing things and entertaining I don't tend to eat as I find I am to busy making sure everyone has what they need and are having a good time.....

Today, we celebrate another Birthday.....today is my hubby's Bday! I am not allowed to say how old he is but he likes to remind me he is much younger.....I say....not so much.....Anyhow, for his birthday I am going to make him one of his favourite meals and for his birthday cake he asked for a cherry cheese cake, which I baked last night. His parents will be coming for dinner to help celebrate.....Happy Birthday sweetie!!!!

So here I am onto my second cup of java and haven't really accomplished a whole heck of a lot. I think I might be procrastinating. Working 8 hour shifts I am at work more which leaves less down time. I don't know why it is but even when I do have down time I seem to fill it. Today, I most certainly would like to get a run in...so I have to make that a priority....after that...well....hubby and I went and bought some material to make a shower curtain....we couldn't find one we liked pre made in the store...so we decided that we should make one....good idea. We also couldn't find a shower rod we liked so we got a wooden dowel which I have to sand and varnish....when this bathroom project is all done I will have to show you the amazing tile and granite work my hubby did....he is very talented....oops I better not say to much more...he reads my blog and well don't want to give him a big ego....don't ya know. Anyhow, my day awaits me....

Seeing as this post has primarily been about birthdays I would like to leave you with this quote...it's about getting older...

We grow neither better or worse as we get old, but more like ourselves.

~Mary Lamberton Becker~

Reflection........

I have been doing a lot of reflecting lately. Not so much about life and it's purpose, but rather how have I dealt with the challenges my life has presented me.

Currently, I find myself faced not only with physical challenges but emotional and financial. I am looking into my past to see how I dealt with such issues and reading lots on finding ways to deal with events that life presents me now.

My hubby has just as many worries on his plate as I, but he deals with things in a much more positive manner. We are so different that way.....he is certainly a person who sees his cup as half full.....if one door closes he sees it as an opportunity for another one to open. Over the past four years he has had to deal with so much adversity it would make the average persons head spin. I guess I have had to as well being his wife. But as I said we look at things much differently.

I worry about paying the bills.....wishing and hoping there was something left over so we could put it away for a rainy day.....it seems it's always a rainy day in that category. We spends hours trying to figure out how to make the best of what we have and how we can change our financial situation.....he continues to be positive and tries very hard to help me find the silver lining.

I was watching the news last night.....although our government won't say we are heading into a recession I truly believe we are. The retailers are crying the blues because we are not spending money.....the towns south of the border are hurting because we Canadians aren't spending our dollars ......how can we when our dollar is only worth 79 cents! I have convinced myself that there will be no presents under the tree this year. Honestly, I have made the conscious decision to not go further into debt....I will not be one to go out and spend just because it's Christmas. We will gather for dinner, I will pepare a feast...we will sit by the fire and enjoy good times and laugh....I will just soak up the sense of warmth and joy I will feel just having them with me.

So back to my reflection.....because I find myself being faced with some hard times I am finding myself taking a count of my life and what truly matters. I have come to the conclusion that no matter how hard I try if I were to die tomorrow or the banks were to come and repossess my home....would it really matter? I couldn't take any of it with me anyways. So I ask myself, if that was the case, would I really need it, and what is it that I truly need? As I said, if the banks want my house they can have it......but they can't take my spirit.....they can't take my love I have for my husband and family. As I think this, and type this, I realize how true.....life is far to short to worry about possessions.

I like to consider myself as a responsible person. I will live up to my financial commitments I will not look to others to bail me out of something that I partially caused myself. That is not in my nature.....if I caused it then it is up to me to solve it. Reflection.

I have noticed the leaves turning their brilliant hues of orange, red and yellow. I have watched the huge oak leaves as they flutter through air and make their graceful landing to the ground below. I look at the creeks and river beds and the water how it flows......the eagles as they hover overhead waiting to feast on the salmon who are making their last journey home to rest......I am surrounded by such beauty......I am blessed......I am learning and reflecting that there is so much more to life than rushing, and pushing and shoving to get ahead......ahead of what?

There is a poem "If I had a chance to live my life over again"......and in it there is a line that says....."I would get down on the floor and play with my children more".....how true.....not only would I get down on the floor and play more.....but I would try to see life from their eyes.....to look at things like I was looking at them for the first time....touching them and smelling them.......I would laugh that belly laugh....that laugh that brings tears to your eyes......I would stop taking life and myself so seriously......I would try to remember to tell those around me how much I love them and how much they mean to me.

Reflection, I had the most wonderful lunch with colleagues from my old job yesterday they gave me a gift basket full of wonderful items....one such item was a book titled "The Friendship Book" It is full of many thoughts and inspirations....I would like to leave you with this one....

"When you arise in the morning, give thanks for the morning light,for your life and strength. Give thanks for your food and joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies in yourself." ~ Tecumseh~

Happy Birthday............

Well I certainly hope I didn't offend anyone with my last post. It just caught me as funny and I generally don't have a very good sense of humour but that just made me chuckle and if I laugh I figure most people would laugh as well.

It's my youngest daughter's 16th birthday on the weekend. Tomorrow hubby and I are making the trek over to the mainland to celebrate her birthday in style.

I have organized a party for her. Sweet 16 isn't what it used to be...but being the traditionalist that I am I had to have a party. I rented the hall where she lives...got all the decorations, ordered the cake, have to pick up the flowers and balloon bouquet on Saturday.

Saturday morning will be spent decorating and cooking. It's primarily family who will be attending....but seeing as I come from a family of 12 children that can be a lot of people, with cousins and aunts and uncles and of course friends.

This is my youngest daughter, so I know it will be the last time I get to do this. It means a lot to me. She means a lot to me, and I want to make it special for her. I know she will be embarrassed and won't want all the fuss made about her....but when she gets older I am sure she will remember it...and be thankful for it.

It's funny how traditions somehow regulate our lives. I mean when I was growing up there were certain things that were expected that we did because it was "Tradition". Are there things in your life that are done just because they are "tradition"?

Have a good weekend all......I am off for the weekend.

Things you get in your email.....

So I got this email the other day and I just had to share it........


Virus Alert!

If your computer does this when copying a file.............

You know it's been infected with some bad S--t!

Have a great day all!

All in a day.......

In my last post and my rant about accessibility to health care in rural communities, I mentioned that although our system had it's flaws there are good points to it as well. Today I want to share a story where the system does work.

I worked over the weekend. The other day at work I was recovering a patient who had been called in by the surgeon. He had the results of her MRI and said he wanted to perform an examination but the patient would need to have general anesthetic. Hence I was her nurse in the recovery room.

I think I have mentioned in previous posts how patients wake up in varying states emotions, crying, vomiting, shivering, laughing and smiling. This lady was a smiler(is that a word?) Anyhow, she had the most beautiful smile, and such gentle caring eyes. As she was drifting in and out of la la land....I was reviewing the reports from the surgeon. The news was not good. She had cancer. While she was still half asleep the doctor ordered all kinds of blood work to be drawn, he went down to CT and booked her for a scan, he went and spoke with the husband. Once she was awake he spoke with her. Her beautiful smile was quickly turned upside down. She was suspicious herself but to have it confirmed of course was terrible news. The surgeon was just so wonderful with her, he told her he made all the arrangements for further tests, he requested a rush on the biopsies, and he would coordinate everything for her to get to the Cancer center in Victoria. He was very gentle and kind with her. She in her stunned and still somewhat groggy state was trying to take it all in.

After the surgeon left, I asked her if she had any questions she couldn't think of any at the time.....she went on to say....she just got married in the summer to the man of her dreams. My heart sank. As she became more clear we chatted some more and I answered some more of her questions. I helped her get dressed and wheeled her out to her waiting husband. They gently and lovingly hugged.....she kissed his hand. I wheeled her to the elevator and they held hands the whole way. I left them at the elevator.....they needed some privacy and to be able to start to share what would the road ahead would have in store for them.

Although this story is a sad one, it demonstrates that when someone truly needs the services of our health care system it is there for them....treatment is given in an expedited fashion. She will have to undergo radiation and chemotherapy treatments, but that will be after her trip to Victoria next week.

My thoughts and prayers go out to her.

Another Health Care rant...............

So I have a gripe. If you are not in the mood to read about a gripe you just might want to bypass this post and go find a happy place.

Here it is. Health care. I am damn proud of our Canadian health care. It has flaws.....everything has flaws. I accept that. However, I still want to go to Victoria(capital city for our beautiful province) and shake the living bee geebees out of the Minister of health.

It would appear that health care really doesn't exist if you live outside of the Lower Mainland(Vancouver, Burnaby, North and West Vancouver,Surrey, Richmond, etc), or outside of Victoria. Now I know I have bitched about this before...but today my twizzlers are really in a knot.

Two things....I need to have an ultrasound done on my shoulder. My doctor ordered it back in September....she had her office re-fax the request 10 days ago....I called again today just to see if they even had a date. No date. They are booking into December.....they can't give me a date. There was no point getting mad at the booking clerk, it's not her fault. She told me they get 120 requests a day for ultrasounds.....gosh I didn't think we had that many residents north of Nanaimo that would make up such a list..but apparently we do.

My husband was telling me about overhearing a conversation at the hospital yesterday, the booking clerk was speaking to someone about making an appointment....again she said to them that the earliest they were booking was into December and that if she wanted anything early she should call the hospital in Victoria or even try going to Vancouver. Here is what bothered us about this. As we have no idea as to how old the person was that they were speaking to on the other end of the phone, but we thought, if that was an elderly lady being told she had results of a test and the doctor wanted her to have another test..but that she should book it on her own...how wrong is that....poor thing....she was most probably flustered at the news and then having to comprehend everything else the clerk was telling her. But here's the icing on the cake....the clerk told her that if she did manage to get an appointment either in Victoria or Vancouver to please call her back so she could give her spot to someone else. To me that is just wrong. If the hospital can't provide the service then I think they should be arranging the service for the patient at another facility, don't you?

Here's the other thing. If I was on an insurance claim like Worker's Compensation or ICBC they would have me in there and have the test done so fast your head would spin. You see the longer they have someone on an insurance claim the longer they(the insurance companies) have to pay and of course they don't want that....so for some reason they seem to be able to bump the average person in the line.....not right. Yet, if I look at it from an employer and insurance stand point I can understand that they would want things expedited. You see if they can get the problem diagnosed sooner and treatment started sooner the sooner the person gets back to work....yes it all makes sense. However, Mrs. Smith, or Mr. Jones or Smalltown RN who are patiently waiting there turn in line wait and wait and wait. Now I know from a health care standpoint that if something was urgent it truly does get dealt with relatively quickly.....it's just frustrating.

Here we are in our small communities...begging for a doctor to come to town so we can at least have a doctor....then we have to travel anywhere from 30 - 60 km to get xrays, or ultrasounds done...we have one lab in my town and you can wait sometimes up to two hours just to get blood work drawn. It's all just frustrating.

Sometimes my suspicious mind takes over and I wonder if this is truly a plot that our provincial government has in trying to privatize health care....trying to convince us that it would be better, that we would be seen quicker......I don't think that is the case. We can't even get doctors or services here now. I think it is just a ploy to convince us that privatizing health care is the way to go....and I won't even entertain that thought...that's just wrong.

If the insurance companies want their clients seen quicker then why don't they have clinic of their own.....they pay the government to open the clinic..the government operates the clinic...and only clients that are part of insurance claims can go there.....they then wait their turn just like anyone else and get their treatment.

It's been a real eye opener for me moving out of the Lower Mainland where health care is so readily available.......It's a shame, I didn't realize I had to sacrifice the ability to access health care in order to live a healthier life style.....go figure.....

Humour Thursday.......

Subject: Mirror mirror on the wall

>>>> *Mirror Mirror*

>>>> *Shrek, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were all having lunch

>>>> together.

>>>> Shrek said, 'I have always thought that I'm the strongest man in

>>>> the world, but how can I be sure?'

>>>> Angelina Jolie agreed. 'I'm told I'm the most gorgeous of them

>>>> all, but sometimes I wonder.'

>>>> Brad Pitt said, 'I'm pretty sure I'm the sexiest man alive but

>>>> I've never had it confirmed.'

>>>> They all decided that the best way to find out if their beliefs

>>>> were true was to ask the famed talking 'mirror, mirror on the

>>>> wall' to confirm for them whether Shrek was the strongest,

>>>> Angelina Jolie was the most gorgeous and Brad Pitt was the sexiest.

>>>> They agreed to meet again the next day for lunch to discuss their findings.

>>>> The next day Shrek walked up with a smile. 'Well, it's true.

>>>> The mirror told me that I am the strongest man in the world.'

>>>> Brad Pitt perked up and said: 'And I know for sure that I'm the sexiest man alive.'

>>>> But Angelina Jolie lifted her sad, gorgeous face and said...

>>>> ...

>>>> "Who the hell is Smalltown RN ????? Bah Ha!! Ha!!

Happy Thursday all !!!!

Election Day.............

Today is our Federal election. I posted about this a couple of weeks ago wondering how many people were prepared for our Federal election and how in the Canadian system we can announce, run a campaign and have an election in less than 6 weeks.

I looked at our neighbours to the south of us who took over a year to decide who was going to be the head of a political party. I am not saying that is bad or good thing, it's just very different than the way we do things here in Canada. I look at the US a country who was on the verge of financial ruins and yet you have candidates parading their pompous circus about the country side spending millions while people were losing their jobs, and homes and the government of the day was/is asking the public to bail them out.....that's just wrong to me.

Anyhow, back to the Canadian election....today we must all get out there and do our civic duty and vote. Regardless of whether you believe it will make a difference. Our fathers and father's before them fought for freedoms and justice, our mothers fought for the right to vote....generations before us made great sacrifices in order that we may have the right to vote. The right to have a voice in the political arena and a voice for change. Don't throw it away by not voting.

I often here one vote doesn't make a difference. I believe it does. Regardless of whether the party you vote for gets into government at least you know you did your part to make a change. So please, go out and vote!

Happy Thanksgiving....

Well it is a long weekend here in Canada. On Monday we celebrate Thanksgiving. Families will be busy gathering together cooking up family traditional meals and sharing all the things that they have to be thankful for.

Normally I too would be preparing or thinking about Thanksgiving dinner. Not this year. This year I work the whole weekend so I won't be cooking any turkey.....and you know what....I am ok with that. I think I will buy a turkey when they go on sale after thanksgiving and cook up a big meal then.....or maybe not. I look at it this way....look at all the calories I am saving myself....my hips will thank me for it!

So to all my Canadian friends, I wish you all good health and a wonderful Thanksgiving and I hope you are able to spend time with loved ones and truly give thanks for all of your bounty.

What do these have in common.....

Do you know what these two photos have in common? Give Up?
They both come in all shapes, sizes, colours and can be almost anything you want them to be.

You might be thinking where is she going with this. Well a couple of places actually. Some of it positive, and some of it not so positive. I have been a nurse for 20 years....I know there are nurses out there that have been in this profession for 30 or 35 years...it was their life long passion to be a nurse. I work with some of these nurses. When I was at work yesterday and looking around me....the varying nurses that were there, the chatter that was going on....the care that was taking place. It sort of struck me that nursing is as varied as knitted socks. Knitted socks can be what ever you want them to be....they can be bold and bright, striped, boot like, cartoon characters...the list is endless. That is how I see nursing.

Nursing has changed. It's not the traditional bedside nurse that most people think of when they think of nursing. Nurses are seen in research, wound and ostomy care, Operating room, Emergency nursing, Nurse administrators, Nursing instructors/educators, Critical care, Paediatric, Neonatal intensive care, Cardiac intensive care, Nurse practitioners the list is endless.

When I went into nursing 20 years ago I originally thought that I wanted to be a paediatric nurse...after my stint in paediatric nursing I realized that it wasn't for me. I then got a passion for Palliative care and then Critical care. Nursing has been an amazing ride. It's a profession where you have an opportunity to enter into someone's life although briefly, but can make a tremendous impact on their recovery or a dignified death.

Knowing that I am going to be on the receiving end of this care, I have been paying close attention to how nurses interact with their patients. The nurses I will come in contact with will be recovery room nurses, critical care nurses and step down care nurses. All will bring varying degree of expertise. What I am hoping will stay constant is their passion for providing the best possible care they care. To be patient and compassionate. Empathetic and Caring. Is that a tall order? I hope not.

As of late, I have observed nurses who's demeanor I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I don't know what bee is in their bonnet but I wish if they were feeling that miserable that they get out of the profession or call in sick. As in many walks of life we will come across people who come from a variety of backgrounds and whether they acknowledge it or not it can impact their practise causing them to be biased or judgemental.

Now as a recovery room nurse, I care for patients coming out from a variety of surgeries....many are elective surgeries....and many not. With that each patient comes out of anesthetic differently. There are expected outcomes but some people are just more sensitive to the drugs than others and respond differently. Some have a higher pain tolerance than others. Some cry, some feel sick to their stomachs, others are fearful and yet some even laugh. I find, it is how we as nurses interact with these patients that can make a difference in their recovery process. We are often the first face they see and voice they hear when they come out of the anesthetic. They are not at their best. So for us as nurses to judge them....to say they are too needy, or that they are a "whiner" or have no coping skills is out of line. We all come to the table from different socio economic backgrounds. These backgrounds can most certainly play a role on an individual's coping skills.

So socks and nurses do share some similarities....some give you the warm cozy feeling and others are rough and scratchy. I just hope that when it comes to the day of my surgery and hospital stay, I have nurses who still have a passion for nursing and will just accept me for who I am, and that they are wearing their warm fuzzy socks that day.

Contradictions

I was reading in a little book I have called Meditations for Women Who Do Too Much by Anne Wilson Schaef, and I found this topic having to do with "Contradictions" it intrigued me....

"So much of our lives are glaring contradictions. We swear that we will never be like our mothers, then find ourselves screeching on the same note. We know we would never manipulate others the way our boss manipulates us, and then we catch ourselves doing it. We seem to see so clearly "out there", while "in here" is a muddle. Relax, it's all part of this addictive disease process. It's called denial. Breaking through the denial about what is really going on in our lives is the first step in recovery."

When I first started reading this I could see certain characteristics in myself....reading further I am not sure that I would agree that is an "addictive disease" but I would agree with the denial......Any thoughts on that?

I see sunshine on a cloudy day..........

Ok enough already....enough feeling sorry for myself. In my previous post I mentioned that I had made an apron for my daughter.....it's been years since I have sewn....and I sewed this on that $3 sewing machine I told you I picked up at a garage sale....what do ya think?


I opted to do a lining with it to give it more thickness....I incorporated the lining into the pocket..I trimmed the top of the pocket with the same colour as the front....but you know now that I look at it...I think maybe I should have done the pocket in the same colour and then trimmed it with the reverse colour. I just loved the material. It really should have been for Thanksgiving...but seeing as that is this weekend it will just have to do as a fall apron. It's my youngest daughters birthday on the 25th and she is really a Susie homemaker. She loves to bake and cook, she just recently learnt how to bake pies! So I thought as part of her birthday present I would give her this apron, I am going to make up a collection of some of my favourite recipes and put them in a book, I also got her a couple of kitchen utensils. I am hoping she will like it. Of course I will be getting her something off of her birthday list...but I thought this would be a little something especially from me to her.

I love this little clip art of Piglet and Pooh.....it's just so cheery.....how can it not put a smile on your face.

Not feeling so sunny today.....

It was a relatively quite weekend for me. Saturday I spent the morning searching the Internet and drinking my latte....by early afternoon I decided it was time to do some house chores....hubby had asked me about a recipe I had for some cookies....hint hint.....so I baked some cookies. Saturday evening we spent over at the in laws playing cards...nice peaceful and relaxing. Sunday was pretty mellow as well.....after my morning latte I went out and cleared some brush at the top of the property....hubby was busy cutting down a tree and chopping it for firewood. By early afternoon I found myself cutting out material for an apron I made for my youngest daughter. All in all it was a productive weekend...but my mind was somewhere else.

Since my appointment with the specialist last week I have been a tad preoccupied to say the least, and to top it off I just physically have not been myself.

I think my blah, humdrum rainy day doldrums are taking their toll. My head is whirling with all the possibilities for the outcome of the surgery.....I am telling myself not to worry but in doing so I worry. My brother's wife called me on Saturday expressing her concern for me and really wished I would consider having my surgery sooner rather than later. I explained the rationale for the decision on the date and thanked her for her concern she was truly being very genuine and I was very appreciative of that, but it certainly did not help with my mood.

Part of me keeps saying "chin up" get on with it.....don't waste good energy worrying about something you have no control over. So when I say that, I try and distract myself by keeping busy...hence the sewing...and knitting.

Some times it works....some times it doesn't. There is part of me that just wants to crawl under the covers and come out when it is all over. But that isn't going to happen. Life must go on.....I must continue to be productive and enjoy everything that life puts before me. I just want to scream. I feel like a bundle of contradictions. There is a definite right and left side of me going on. The "don't worry be happy" and the "I am pissed,angry,sad and scared" side of me, and I hurt. I ache all over. Kinda like you feel when you get the flu.....but no fever, no sick stomach, nothing just this constant dull ache throughout my whole body. Like it's feeling it's all worn out.

I keep trying to do.....but Ifind I have to do a lot of self talk....generally this would come natural.....I love to run and be active....not so much right now....it's a struggle to get me onto my stepper...I'm doing it, but not enough.....so then I feel bad....I feel good mentally after I have exercised so I know it is something I should really work at trying to continue to do...but I would be lying if I didn't say it was a struggle.

Maybe I am just in a funk. But I ask you....don't you sometimes feel like you just want to hide till all bad things go away....like the ostrich? Or what about when you just aren't feeling like yourself but those around you think you should just get on with it. I want to smack them....well not really but you know what I mean? Or do you?

Monday is another day...I see my physio in the morning then my GP and in the evening....I am going to bellydancing.....so maybe that will help me with my funk.

Let's Dance...............

I was looking at that picture I posted yesterday with Fred Astair and Ginger Rogers. Gosh weren't they just an elegant couple....how they just flowed on the dance floor....they made it look so effortless. That photo really put a smile on my face.

I have wanted to take ballroom dancing for some time....initially hubby said he would, but now not so much. I love to dance as does he... I always thought it would be nice to have some professional lessons to learn some new steps. Anyhow, I don't see that happening in the near future..not that I am giving up....oh no....

A couple of the girls I work with are taking belly dancing lessons and asked if I would like to join them. Most people when they think of belly dancing think of the women dressed like this dancing and gyrating around the tables at Greek restaurants......

For me I think about the historic dancers....like these.....and how mystical and hypnotic their dance was...

According to Wikpedia:

Belly dance is a Western term for a traditional Middle Eastern dance form. Some American devotees refer to it simply as "Middle Eastern Dance." In the Arabic language it is known as raqs sharqi ( literally "oriental dance") or sometimes raqs baladi literally "national" or "folk" dance. The term "raqs sharqi" may have originated in Egypt. In Greece and the Balkans, belly dance is called tsiftetelli , çiftetelli in Turkish. The term "belly dance" is a creation of Orientalism, first used in English in 1899, and translating in French to "danse du ventre."

Belly dancing has really become popular with the general public. I took belly dancing lessons about 6 years ago and it was so much fun....it was really awkward at first and I felt very silly, but what a great work out. All sorts of people take belly dancing lessons....as evident by these photos.....

Anyhow, these lessons are a win win.....they are held at a community hall....it's by donation and all proceeds go towards a Christmas party for the less fortunate children in the area. Sounds good to me....I get to learn how to dance and have a great work out at the same time doing something for the community.

So I guess it's time I got up and shook my booty.....Happy Weekend all!

Doing the Friday dance..........

Well it's Friday and I am doing the happy dance. It's been a long week and the weekend couldn't come soon enough.

Being a shift worker Friday's don't really mean that much to me. But tomorrow is truly a Friday for me and I am looking forward to the weekend.

Not sure why I get excited about the weekend because I usually fill them up with things to do.....but I guess it's a change from the "Having" to get up and get into work. I can do my chores or not.....I don't "Have" to do anything if I don't want to. But being the Type A kinda of gal I am I feel obligated to get the chores done.....Some days I would far rather just sit and read my book or lay in bed past 0700....but I don't I just can't seem to do that. I've always been the type of person that had to get her chores done...and then I could have fun. I think that comes from when I was little, my brothers and sisters and I always had to do our chores before we could have fun. I mean if I went for a sleep over I would have to be up at the crack of dawn and get home to get my chores done. Funny how that carried on into my adult life.

Regardless.....it's Friday.....I do "Have" to go in to work, but it is for an educational day. Then it will be the weekend, and I really do plan on trying to just relax and have some fun.

What about you.....do you look forward to your weekends? Do you make plans? Or do you just go with the flow?

I hope you all find some time for yourself.....Happy Friday all!

Life is like a box of chocolate's.......

Life is funny sometimes isn't. Just when you think you got all your ducks in a row...somebody or something comes along and ruins the line. I think sometimes I have been guilty of being that someone.

As I nurse I have often had to be on stand by for the patient when the doctor delivers bad news. I want to be there so I know what he/she has said to the patient so if they have any questions I know what has been told to them and how to best explain it. In the hospital setting the specialists often rush into the room give an overall view of what is going on and what the plan is. They often don't take the time to provide the patient with an opportunity to ask questions, or to help alleviate some of the stress the patient may experience based on the information the doctor has given them. I try to put myself in the patients shoes. How would I feel if I was spoken to in that manner, what is it that I need to know to help me understand the information that was just given to me....how would that effect my life?

Well I have been on the receiving end of news from doctors many times in my life. Yesterday was no exception. I am not sure if I have mentioned this on my blog before or not, but I have a pacemaker. I have had one since I was 23 years old for a condition called Sick Sinus Syndrome. Sick sinus syndrome is a condition where the heart has episodes of tachycardia(going to fast) and bradycardia(going to slow). The heart as a muscle open and closes the valves in a rhythmic method which produces the heart beat. The muscle does this through an electrical pathway which starts in your atrium Sinus Node. So in Sick sinus syndrome the sinus node is literally "Sick" as it is not controlling the electrical impulses the way it should. This is a very elementary explanation of the heart as a pump....if you would like to know more about how the heart works as a pump you can check out this siteHeart for more information.

Getting my pacemaker was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I was able to have three healthy children, participate in all aspects of life, from sky diving, water/snow skiing, tubing, wake boarding, para sailing, horseback riding, playing ball, golfing...you name it, I let nothing stop me except my own fear of maybe getting hurt.

As much as I would have loved my pacemaker to last my whole life....it didn't and they don't. The average life expectancy of a pacemaker is 7 - 12 years. I have generally required getting my pacemaker changed earlier for a variety of reasons. I am currently on my 4th pacemaker. The pacemaker itself is made up of two components the battery component(generator) and the leads. These leads are attached to the PM(pacemaker) and then directed into your atrium and ventricle. Again if you would like to learn more about Pacemakers why and how they are used you can check out this site here. Like any battery the more you use it the sooner it wears out. This is true with PM's but a little more complex. Life expectancy of PM's as I stated is 7 - 12 years. But this depends on how the PM is set and how often it is used. There are many settings within the PM to help you get the best quality of life for you and to help extend the life of the PM.

As I mentioned the PM(battery component) has a life expectancy so do the leads. When a person first gets a PM they may only get a single lead...then a few years down the road it might be determined they need another lead....hence making the original lead older. As time goes on leads can possibly fracture, wear out or become faulty. In the case of a lead becoming old and requiring replacing the surgeon will often cap the old lead and put in a new lead. Also, like anything mechanical it can be faulty and need replacing...such was the case when I had a lead replaced two years ago. You must appreciate that these leads are going through a very small vessel and can only accommodate so many leads.

After my last PM change and lead replacement I have been uncomfortable. Month after the operation I was back in having another operation as the lead that was capped migrated to the top of my PM. Now two years later I am still uncomfortable and it is affecting my quality of life.

The short version, I spoke with the Surgeon who did my last PM and lead he suggested I see the cardiac surgeon in Vancouver. I saw this specialist yesterday.

He was very relaxed and hence made me feel relaxed. Prior to seeing this doctor I did a lot of research regarding Lead extractions and options. I didn't really think I was a candidate for the procedure. After a very lengthy discussion with him it has been determined that not only does he want to remove my lead he wants to take everything out all three leads and the PM and put a complete new unit in another part of my body. Here's the thing. He believes I have a infection brewing hence the pain and burning I am getting. Because this site has been opened up so many times this site becomes a prime candidate for infection. Lead extraction is major surgery. Because one of my leads is over 23 years old makes it even more complicated and risky. He believes he can get them all out....the problem is that I might require open heart surgery and all of the risks that goes along with that...which I won't even go into right now.

Here is what I know.....if there is an infection I will be on antibiotics for minimum a week but possibly as long as a month...if I have to be on them for a month they have to put a special intravenous line into me so they can get frequent access with out having to poke me all the time...if this happens my stay in the hospital will be longer. If they end up having to do open heart, which would require cracking my sternum I will be in hospital longer and recovery will be 4 - 6 months post discharge from the hospital.

So you can imagine that I have a lot to take in.....lots of things to consider....and getting my ducks all in a row. The surgeon wanted to do it as early as the 15th of this month. I said no. I have my youngest daughters 16th birthday this month and I am planning a big Sweet 16 party for her. They then gave me November but middle daughters birthday is that month and I certainly don't want it in December, to close to Christmas. So I am booked for January 2009. I have lots to do before then....lots of things to get organized.

When things like this happen it really helps you put life into perspective now doesn't it. It makes me think of that song "Live like your were dying". Enjoy everyday, don't sweat the small stuff and it's ok to leave the dishes until tomorrow.

I think this has been my wake up call.......