Mars and Venus.........

We all the know or have heard of the book "Men are from Mars Women are from Venus" written by John Gray Phd. The purpose of his book is to help men and women to communicate better in a relationship by understanding the differences in the way the sexes think and process information.

I have just spent the past 5 weeks living in a house with 4 males, my hubby, my two step sons and my brother in law. Life couldn't be more different. I think now I can understand how my ex felt living in a house with 4 females.

When we get married for the first time we see the world ahead of us, as a couple we try to grow together the first few years can be difficult finding the comfort zone in the relationship and how each person fits within the relationship. Then as a couple you decide to start a family. You raise your children with values that are important to you and try to teach them life's lessons in preparation for them to one day leave the roost and spread their wings.

I think things are a little different when you remarry and combine families. Again, one would hope that the husband and wife would share the same value system, goals, and expectations. Then come the children of the new union. In this new marriage the children live with the other parent, due to distance the couple now only sees them on scheduled visits. As a result the other parent has more input with regards to instilling values and life lessons. Which brings us to now.

I have lived these past 5 weeks with two young teenage boys. Having only raised girls this can be a challenge. I found myself trying to understand their sense of humour. Case in point. Bathroom humour. They find is necessary to share their bathroom experiences with everyone. The other day we were all out and I had to excuse myself to use the washroom, upon my return my hubby pipes up "Did everything come out ok?" right in the middle of the store of course this opened the door for the boys and on came the bathroom humour. I was disgusted and walked away and went looking at other things, this unfortunately caused conflict. I have mentioned to the boys and to my hubby that I do not appreciate that kind of humour, for me actually there is no humour in it at all. I tried to think if I ever experienced anything like that with my girls and I can honestly say that I haven't. Never in a million years would my girls bring up such a topic...and certainly not in mixed company. Which brings us to an example of Venus and Mars.

I know boys think very different than girls. The eldest stepson is 15 and the hormones are jumping. He is so girl crazy right now, which I am accepting as teenage boy behaviour. However, his comments sometimes are extremely rude and as far as I am concerned degrading to all women. I have tried to explain this to him, but I think it is falling on deaf ears. I could give you examples but I am to embarrassed to even repeat some of the things he has said. I truly don't know why he thinks it's ok to say those things and especially in front of me. Hubby has corrected him at times but sometimes he says he is just joking....well if I find it offensive then it is not a joke.

Then there is the free flowing of bodily noises. I truly think they forget that other people are around. Again, I try to correct them tell them it is socially not acceptable...they just laugh.

Now lets talk about manners or lack there of. This evening for example, I made tacos for dinner granted a bit of a messy meal. Youngest son decides he wants to make two at the same time, well two don't fit on the plate. He makes one puts the one he made straight on the table and the finishes making his second. I tried to point out to him that it would have been more appropriate to make one and come back for the second rather than putting the other on the table. Napkins....napkins are a foreign object to them. Every meal I put out napkins. They rarely get used...instead what I see are hands getting wiped onto shirts or shorts....or sock wiping something up off of the floor. This is just not right. If the napkin are there why don't they use them? This just increases the amount of laundry I have to do..... Do they think I just put the napkins out to look pretty? That I have noting better to do than think about putting them out NOT to be used? I don't think so.

It has been more of a trying time than I ever expected. I have tried to teach them social skills and the likes but I feel now like I am being the bad guy. The nag....I do wonder what it is they learn at home....what table manners have they learnt? Eldest step son does little, he stays up late and if left to his own devices doesn't get up until noon or later. Again, I recognize that teenagers need more sleep but it certainly doesn't leave us much time for doing anything now does it.? He actually complained to his father that he didn't like how I always made him get out and do things, like go to the beach or hikes. I didn't even know what to say to that. He was upset that I didn't' let him spend time more time on the computer or watching TV.

That brings me to technology. Eldest son brought his cell phone with him. I have never seen anyone other than him text as much as he does and very very fast. He texts from the moment his eyes are open till they close at night or should I say whee hours of the morning. We have had disagreements about this, hubby is finally starting to see why I had such concern last Christmas when he came and was texting so much. Eldest son has now had his phone privileges removed for the past 3 days it is out of control. He tells us all of his friends text like this...I really think these kids need to learn some cell phone etiquette. They text while they are talking to you....does anyone else find that rude or is it just me?

So back to my Venus and mars. They think so much differently than I, what they think is sociably acceptable is often times far from what I would consider acceptable. Eldests as I mentioned is so preoccupied with the "self" and thoughts of girls. Youngest is finding it challenging being a teenager, finding his footing he needs a language control on his mouth...there's something wrong about hearing a 13 year old say "damn this...." or "what the hell" amongst other things. Hubby often agrees with what I have to say, but also reminds me that they are not my girls. Not sure what the means. Does he think girls don't get raging hormones, or talk badly? Sure they do but I just taught them differently. So there you have it another example of Venus and Mars.

After all is said and done I do love the boys and will miss them when they are gone....I just wish I had more time with them to teach them more social graces, household responsibilities, life experiences. I just want them to grow into respectable young men. Some days I just want to give up. Like why bother, they are going to go home and continue to do what it is they did before they came out here. But I do, I continue to try and instill values and respect and social graces and even if they take one thing home with them it's better than nothing.

Jesse's 13th Bday

This past weekend we celebrated youngest sons 13th Birthday. His Birthday was actually in June, but he was in Ontario for his birthday...so now it was our turn. Along with giving him some money we got him a fishing rod that is for both fly and reel fishing....he loves it. We had him at the lake today testing it out.

The boys go home on Thursday. I can't believe that 5 week shave already passed.
On Wednesday we are going to celebrate eldest son's 15th Birthday. He wanted to be back home in Ontario for his birthday which is the 31st so we had to try and squeeze in another birthday celebration.

We did keep busy while they were here. Almost everyday while I was off of work we did an adventure. Lots of time spent on beaches and by creeks, boating, fishing and prawning, go cart racing, to paint balling just to name a few things. I am back to work tomorrow so this really is the end of my adventures with them. Their father will take them over on the ferry on Thursday and put them on the plane. I know it will be a sad day for all of them, but it is never good bye, just so long till later.

Somethings got to give.......

Sometimes when I get frustrated with the system and I don't know where to vent my frustration I write letters. I have been known to write letters to CEO of boards, my MLA's, MP's the papers and now the Premier of our Province.

Recently our provincial government in it's infamous wisdom thought it would be a good idea to send every British Columbian a cheque for $100. They are calling this initiative the "Climate Action Dividend cheque". Along with this cheque came a lovely glossy brochure telling British Columbians how we could save energy. Some of their suggestions were things like weather strip your windows, change your light bulbs to more energy efficient bulbs, walk instead of drive, use a push mower instead of gas. First of all, why did it take a whole department to come up with those suggestions and secondly, I think most British Columbians do those things anyways. As far as the push mower goes, I don't use one on my 5 acres...if the Premier wants to come and cut my grass using the push mower he is more than welcome.

As most of us know governments never give without taking away. So with this $100 cheque they are increasing the tax on gas. Calling it the Carbon Tax. Go figure. This whole climate action things is just an insult to my intelligence. Do they really think we are that stupid and don't know what they are up to. How much did it cost them to print the cheques, set up a department to monitor the disbursement and implementation of this initiative? How much did it cost them to produce the high glossy brochure that accompanied the cheques? Oh I could go on.

The higher fuel costs have had a direct impact on the economy as a whole. For example farmers are having to raise the prices on their produce because of the increased cost of fuel, manufacturers are increasing costs again because of increased fuel costs, and all that filters down to me the consumer. The consumer who is having less and less disposable income because of taxes like these. Did you know that Canada is the Number 1 supplier of crude oil to the US with Saudi Arabia as second did you get that Number 1!!!. We export 1.86 millions gallons of crude oil to the US daily. So why are we paying twice as much on gas as our US counterparts? I am insulted that the government shadows the cost of fuel as a "Climate Action" initiative. Give me a break!

So what did I do about all of this, well I wrote a letter to the Premier of our Province and I sent him back his cheque. I told him he should use it towards the programs he is cutting. Like the 350 publicly funded long term care beds his government is closing on Vancouver Island. Whatever happened to his governments promise in establishing 5000 publicly funded beds? They sold out to the for profit organizations...they fell for the "Assisted Living" which are for profit facilities staffed by less qualified personnel. I also wrote to my local paper and sent them a copy of my letter.

I wish more British Columbians would do the same, send their cheque back. What the government is trying to do here is just wrong, and if we don't speak up they will continue to try hide behind their glossy high powered campaigns to make it look like they are trying to make it better for us.

In my closing remarks to the Premier I said....".....Mr. Premier, here is your $100.00 back please put it towards a worthy cause, like long term care beds, you might need it in the future."

I know my letter will most probably fall on deaf ears, but at least I know I tried. I couldn't fathom the alternative...that being .....doing nothing.

Good health to you all....and Happy Sunday!!!

Heads or Tails Tuesday

This weeks theme is "Sit or Stand".........................

My sweet dog Bert.....wondering if he should Sit or Stand......

Mighty Bert "Standing gaurd"

If you would like to join in on the fun check out

Skittle's Place for all of the instruction.

Happy 400th Post......

To all of my readers, thank you for your support and encouragement. I hope the next 400 will be just as much fun!

An Open letter of thanks......

I was back at work today, and I had the pleasure of nursing one of the most pleasant individuals I have ever had the opportunity to nurse. This individual was so gentle, they just oozed kindness and sincerity. This person was in their 80's and had many life experiences both good and bad but appeared to take them all in stride. They were more than happy to share their life experiences with me. They had the most subtle way of sharing some of life's lessons and unknowingly provided some wonderful words of wisdom and insight. I felt fortunate.....no blessed to have had the opportunity to have cared for this individual today. I think what made it so special was that even though there was over 40 years between us, I still could appreciate what they had to say.

When I reflect on my nursing career and all the patients I have nursed there are a handful that really stick out in my memory banks....some of those patients go back to my early days of nursing, the others are spread throughout my nursing career. The times when I have felt down and dejected about my profession I reflect on these encounters and realize it is these interactions that have kept me so passionate about nursing.

People often ask me "how can you do it" How can you do what you do. I often say I don't know, but today it was different. If someone were to ask me today how I could do what I do I would know exactly what to say. It's because of days like today. It's because of the encounters with patients like I had today that keeps me going. Genuineness.....I remember in nursing school learning about this....I read it...I wrote papers on it....I thought I understood it....today this word for the first time this action of genuiness came so naturally. It wasn't until I started writing this post that I realized that this skill had been used. In writing this post I am able to reflect on the true meaning and purpose of this word and the impact of using this technique enhanced the nurse patient relationship. I genuinely and actively listened what they had to say.....I used that information to build a working, healthy trusting relationship with the patient. A relationship that helps promote health. It was odd how naturally the skills taught in nursing school came to me, it was as though it was second nature to me....

So today when I think about nursing, I think about what it brings to me. How it has been a part of making me who I am today. How it has provided me the opportunity to enter some ones life, to be part of their life if only for 12 hours. To be given the opporutnity to hear about their life experiences, to sit there like a nursery child listening to a teacher read one of your favourite stories. Yes it is days like today that affirms for me why I went into nursing.

I thank all of those patients who have allowed me to enter their lives if only briefly. I thank you for teaching me some of life's lessons. I believe it is because of you that I am a better nurse for being able to be part of your healing journey.

I thank you.

Sincerely,

Smalltown RN

Island life.....

Hello, I'm back. Well for now anyhow. I have been asked if my absence is because I am suffering from writers block. On the contrary. I have lots to say, I generally do. Life has just been busy.

Our latest find, a little secluded spot we found one day while exploring the logging roads.

Since the end of June I have had the pleasure to have the company of my two step sons, they are here visiting us for 5 weeks. It's amazing how time is flying by. They are now into week 3 three of their visit and there is still so much we want to do.

We have had a full house this past month. Along with the boys, we have had my girls here with my youngest staying for a week, and my brother in law,his son and girl friend and their dog Cooper who is pure bred golden lab and is just a live wire. I guess you could now say the Inn is full, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I've been asking family to come visit for some time now so they are finally starting to take me up on my offer.

Just another new find.....

Amongst all of this activity I decided to apply for a new job and got it. August 11th I start my new job working in the PACU(Post Anesthetic Care Unit)at the main hospital in Nanaimo. It's a very busy hospital so I don't imagine I will be lacking for work. I opted to make this change primarily to improve the quality of my life. I am finding that after 18 years of 12hour night shifts that this body of mine can't take it anymore. The change to PACU means that I would be doing 8 hours shifts with no nights!!! Life is good. The position is only part-time, which I really can't afford but I couldn't afford to pass on the opportunity. I really needed the change and this seemed like a great way to make that change happen. The manager is very pleased with being able to get me on board, but I am having a little grief with their Human Resource department with transferring a few benefits that I am entitled to, but I have been working with them on this and I am optimistic that things will work out, and they will see things my way.
Panning for gold in our new spot

My brother in law has been here almost two weeks now. He has come to the Island to get away from the hectic life on the mainland. He has recently retired and had been helping my niece out by providing childcare and being an extra hand around the house, so she could go back to work. However, he was finding it tiring chasing after her two young boys and being chief cook and bottle washer. He was hoping his retirement was going to provide him with more time to be on his boat fishing. Hence he finally told my niece that he was taking himself and his boat for a much needed break to the Island to where he plans on spending his summer, and voila here he is and has been out on his boat almost daily, and is really enjoying this Island life.

The girls and I grabbing some R&R at another one of our favourite swimming holes

Interspersed with his time out on the boat he has been helping out here. Not that I or hubby have asked but he has volunteered. Which brings us to the good and not so good. A couple of the projects he decided he wanted to do for us was to plaster, and paint my stairwell. Well thank you very much, but along with that comes dust, the stair well being covered by a tarp so the dust doesn't travel throughout the whole house, ladders strung across the stair well, buckets, vacuums and well the list goes on....this project so far has taken over a week....today I am hoping that he will get to painting...which he tells me is his intent once he gets back from picking up his prawn traps. I guess we will see. Another project that he decided he wanted to help us out on was finishing our main bathroom. Do you remember at Christmas when I told you about the bathroom reno's. Well they never got completed, primarily due to hubby having his shoulder surgery. Anyhow, my bathroom now is looking like a war zone. More tarps, plaster everywhere, half painted, parts of the flooring pulled up....oh yes it's a joy to go in and see. I wish I could just close the door to the room, but hey, they decided to remove the door. Oh I could go on, but I shant. I know this to shall pass, and at the end of the day I will have the bathroom that I have been looking forward to.

So there you have it, a very quick run down on what has been going on in my life. The sun is out and the birds are singing it is a glorious morning and life doesn't get much better than this. I have a pretty full day ahead of me. I've got to get that hallway vacuumed and the walls wiped so they can get painted, and then I have to go and do some volunteer work with a lady I visit in the community. Still lots of adventure to share with you all with lots more photos.

Eldest son at the new found spot....just taking it all in...

Youngest son climbing the wall so he could jump in....brave soul he was.....

My nephew and his girlfriend

She is visiting from Zagreb and said she knew it was beautiful in British Columbia but she had no idea that is was a beautiful as what she has seen. I take that a great compliment to our province.

You be the judge....

I'm am sure we have all heard remakes of songs. Sometimes I wish the artist who was doing the remake would have just leave the original song alone. Like Madonna when she did a remake of American Pie... I wish she had just left that song alone. I really liked the original version done by Don McLean.


Now Sugarland, a country and western group have come out with their version of Life in a Northern Town. This song was originally sung by a British group called Dream Academy, back in 1985. I remember that song from back then and still love it. Now that I hear Sugarland singing it and seeing the video I can appreciate it from their interpretation of the song. Personally I like both versions. They both bring something different to the song. I kinda of giggle at the 1985 clip as it reminds me of the way we were dressing back then...the hair, the brooches....ah yes life in a northern town. Anyhow you be the judge....
Dream Academy

Sugarland

Blogger is being a pain today so I will post my update a little later.