Well I haven't been around for a couple of days...not much to post about....if truth be known I got engrossed in a book and well couldn't put it down....finished and here I am. It was actually an easy read one of Jonathan Kellerman novels....not one of his better ones I thought...but enjoyable all the same.
So what have I been up to. Well had the in laws for dinner the other night so was busy cooking and baking up a storm on Sunday night. After dinner we decided to play some cards....you folks who live out east will be familiar with this game....Euker....strange game....I still haven't grasped the concept about picking up the card and going alone as they call it.....we played best out of three... the men won...boo hoo....but it was fun all the same.
Yesterday I went and met up with the Volunteer coordinator at the nursing home in town. I have volunteered as a Hospice worker and assisting in vigils when someone is palliative and near life's end...but those vigils thank goodness don't happen that often...so when I met with the Vigil coordinator I asked her if there was something else I could do, she connected me with the volunteer coordinator. So I went and met her yesterday. I told her what I wanted to do...she asked me if I would be interested in doing home visits.....of course I said....you should have seen the smile on her face. They have a client out in the community that they really need a volunteer for but folks in town don't want to make the drive....guess what,turns out this person lives only minutes from me. So I spoke with the community person today and well I am meeting her and the client tomorrow. Anyhow, today I went in and met with the Activity liaison person at the nursing home. There is this older gentlemen in the home who recently became a resident. He is has dementia but is very high functioning, because he lived alone(wife in hospital and family out of town)he was becoming a safety risk and his thing was to be on the phone all the time....calling the hospital about 100 times a day about his wife...calling his daughter just as many times and then apparently he was also calling the police. Long and short of it he now is on a Alzheimer's unit and I was asked if I wouldn't mind visiting him and taking him out for walks. So, today being a beautiful day I thought about him and I thought I would go and see if I could take him out for a walk. So I went and met with the activity person, we went over his care and concerns.
Apparently this man at the spry age of 79, still rides his bike, walks all the time, loves to swim, and apparently he use to be a life guard amongst other things. After discussing his care I went to visit him. He was happy and angry at the same time. He still has the where with all to know that he is in a place he doesn't want to be. He feels he is being kept there against his will, that his daughter is taking his money...yes he is an angry man...but can also be redirect easily. So that was my approach redirect his thought process and encourage him to go for a walk.
Well it didn't take much coaxing at all...the mention of a walk and he had his coat on and out we went. We had a great walk....not knowing how he would function I sort of paced things...listened to his breathing as they told me last time he went out he got short of breath....the only shortness of breath I noticed was from him talking a mile a minute. Turns out he worked for the railway for 35 years...and the stories he could tell. In my little town there is a train station and museum...so without even planning it we ended up at the train museum...oh he was so delighted....he showed me stuff about the train...he really enjoyed it. After that we gradually made our way back to the nursing home. As we neared the home he said, there it is, there's the prison. How sad I thought. We got back to his room, and he shared with me some of his photos, he has a lovely big and bright room overlooking the garden. We talked about gardening and birds, said he liked gardening but said he wasn't going to do their work for them....I laughed....I said well maybe when the time comes you and I could go out there and pick a part of the garden
and make it your own and we could plant whatever you wanted. That made him smile.
The activity person told me that they delivered his bike today....he asked me if I cycled I said I love to cycle....so he said it's a date...we have to go for a ride.....so looks like I have my work cut of for me with this gentleman. Actually, I am really looking forward to it...I think it will do us both a bit of good. I 'll keep you posted.
So what have I been up to. Well had the in laws for dinner the other night so was busy cooking and baking up a storm on Sunday night. After dinner we decided to play some cards....you folks who live out east will be familiar with this game....Euker....strange game....I still haven't grasped the concept about picking up the card and going alone as they call it.....we played best out of three... the men won...boo hoo....but it was fun all the same.
Yesterday I went and met up with the Volunteer coordinator at the nursing home in town. I have volunteered as a Hospice worker and assisting in vigils when someone is palliative and near life's end...but those vigils thank goodness don't happen that often...so when I met with the Vigil coordinator I asked her if there was something else I could do, she connected me with the volunteer coordinator. So I went and met her yesterday. I told her what I wanted to do...she asked me if I would be interested in doing home visits.....of course I said....you should have seen the smile on her face. They have a client out in the community that they really need a volunteer for but folks in town don't want to make the drive....guess what,turns out this person lives only minutes from me. So I spoke with the community person today and well I am meeting her and the client tomorrow. Anyhow, today I went in and met with the Activity liaison person at the nursing home. There is this older gentlemen in the home who recently became a resident. He is has dementia but is very high functioning, because he lived alone(wife in hospital and family out of town)he was becoming a safety risk and his thing was to be on the phone all the time....calling the hospital about 100 times a day about his wife...calling his daughter just as many times and then apparently he was also calling the police. Long and short of it he now is on a Alzheimer's unit and I was asked if I wouldn't mind visiting him and taking him out for walks. So, today being a beautiful day I thought about him and I thought I would go and see if I could take him out for a walk. So I went and met with the activity person, we went over his care and concerns.
Apparently this man at the spry age of 79, still rides his bike, walks all the time, loves to swim, and apparently he use to be a life guard amongst other things. After discussing his care I went to visit him. He was happy and angry at the same time. He still has the where with all to know that he is in a place he doesn't want to be. He feels he is being kept there against his will, that his daughter is taking his money...yes he is an angry man...but can also be redirect easily. So that was my approach redirect his thought process and encourage him to go for a walk.
Well it didn't take much coaxing at all...the mention of a walk and he had his coat on and out we went. We had a great walk....not knowing how he would function I sort of paced things...listened to his breathing as they told me last time he went out he got short of breath....the only shortness of breath I noticed was from him talking a mile a minute. Turns out he worked for the railway for 35 years...and the stories he could tell. In my little town there is a train station and museum...so without even planning it we ended up at the train museum...oh he was so delighted....he showed me stuff about the train...he really enjoyed it. After that we gradually made our way back to the nursing home. As we neared the home he said, there it is, there's the prison. How sad I thought. We got back to his room, and he shared with me some of his photos, he has a lovely big and bright room overlooking the garden. We talked about gardening and birds, said he liked gardening but said he wasn't going to do their work for them....I laughed....I said well maybe when the time comes you and I could go out there and pick a part of the garden
and make it your own and we could plant whatever you wanted. That made him smile.The activity person told me that they delivered his bike today....he asked me if I cycled I said I love to cycle....so he said it's a date...we have to go for a ride.....so looks like I have my work cut of for me with this gentleman. Actually, I am really looking forward to it...I think it will do us both a bit of good. I 'll keep you posted.
22 comments:
WOW! That was such a "feel good" post tonight - so great to read about your interactions with the elderly gentleman. His feelings about being in the home though just mirrored those of my aunt when my cousin felt things had reached a point where she and our cousin -my aunt's mentally/physically challenged daughter -could no longer safely live alone in the family homestead. It was several months that my aunt was still very, very angry with my cousin, who has power of attorney for her and her daughter. And she too referred to the home as "prison." None of her nieces and nephews really wanted things to come to this but unfortunately, they did and placing them both in a nursing home where they share a room was the very best thing for both of them then, and still is. It took many months before my aunt finally did acknowledge one day to another of my cousins that yes, this was actually the place where she and her daughter needed to be to get the care they both have to have. Great post, so much empathy you show for the people you are helping.
What a compassionate person you are Mary Anne and what a wonderful thing to be doing for the people involved, for the community and for yourself. Kudos!
I love euchre - it's a marvelous game and once you get the hang of it you'll love it!
LOL you're going to be superfit with the extra cycling and gardening but what a wonderful job you're doing, I do so admire you. x
Thank the world for people like you. I'm sure your efforts are appreciated by the patient and the family.
I'm guessing the daughter is going through some pretty heavy things right now herself and it's a comfort for someone (that being you) to carry the load for her for just an hour or two. It's not always as it appears to be with the children of an Alzheimer's patient.
I am so glad that you are able to volunteer to spend time with this man. I think it will make such a difference in his life, probably already has. You are off to a great start with him. Excellent!
The world needs more people like you. Since my Mom is in a nursing home and also feels she is in prison, it would be difficult for me at this point to volunteer in a nursing home, it's a bit to close to home.
I just finished a Kellerman book also.
That is wonderful! I still plan on volunteering, but I need to wait until I am adjusted to this working thing first before I take on other things! You are an inspiration to us all!
Hugs and kudos my friend!
What lovely post. You are a wonderful person, Mary Anne!
What an inspired activity. I'm sure all your efforts are appreciated by all involved.
Mary Ann, if you developed an ego half the size of your heart, you would become completely intolerable. :-)
My volunteer work with prisoners is the most rewarding thing I do.
I totally agree with what tomcat said! (Except I don't volunteer to work with prisoners..)
What was the title of the book???
Sounds like both those volunteer opportunities were meant to be. Cheers to you for being involved and for wanting to help others. World sure does need more people like you.
Did I miss a post on how your shoulder is? I've been thinking of you and hoping you're feeling good.
We play that game here, but I suck at it. LOL
That is a beautiful thing you do. As soon as I get my heart surgery over with I hope to have more energy to do something like that too. I love elderly people and miss my Mom like crazy...ciao:)
What a beautiful way of making someone feel better after reading your post.
I even thought how important my job of home care.
I guess even the simplest task will make someone life better.
Gosh Mary Ann, I wish you'd been here when my Dad was in the nursing home! He loved to flirt with all the nurses and for quite a while, he thought he and the head nurse were getting married. When we finally managed to get it through to him that she was already married, he was so ashamed and worried that all the other "guys" would think he was an idiot. It was actually kind of sweet, though. He got moved to another area (not because of that) and he would tell us that she had died. I guess it was his way of coping. He could be angry, too, but I think I got to see another side to him when I'd visit. We'd sit out on the patio and watch the planes go by - he'd tell me stories of when he'd be flying with his buddies and all the fun and "trouble" they'd get into. You are a wonderful person to volunteer in this area because it's not the thing for just anyone. I really admire you for this.
What a poignant story Mary Anne and how kind you are.
My mum-in Law suffered from Dementia and had to go into a Nursing Home. She was a lovely lady.
It was heartbreaking to watch her slow and painful demise. Eventually, she died peacefully, with her two loving sons at her side.
The family did try very hard to look after her in her own home but she became a danger to herself, thus, there was no choice other than, for her to go into Nursng Care.
I think my Husband and his Brother felt tortured about this decision, but she did eventually settle in and lived happily, for another couple of years.
The staff in the home were very good and kind to her, so, that was a source of comfort to us all.
Despite her Dementia she did have some lucid moments.
The Staff arranged a Party Fancy- Dress Evening and the Residents were required to wear various head-dresses, they had made in their Handicraft Classes.
Mum-in Law`s was a Red Indian Head-dress, which she had painstakingly made in her classes, however, she refused point blank to wear her's, on the night of the party.
She announced, in a clear lucid voice, "I am not wearing that
thing on my head, Who do they think I am, Big Chief Sitting Bull"?
She rose from her chair in a most dignified manner, then toddled of to her room to sulk.
After about 5 mins she came out again, put her Head-dress on and joined in the party, to rounds of applause from all !
A wonderful lady and a delightful Mum-in Law to me.
'May she Rest in Peace'.
You are "fabulous" darling!! How awsome is that to have such wonderful experiences with others like that. It is almost like a different world because they lived in a different time! You are truly an inspiration that most of us do not live by. Volunteering is so rewarding and we MUST make the time to do it.
Thanks so much for sharing.
Wow! I am exhausted just listening to your time with this fellow. I think he is going to keep you on your toes. Not your usual geriatric volunteer work, is it, going out bike riding? That's wonderful...! Your angel of karma is smiling at you.
Good post!
He's probably correct about his daughter...
Why do we feel we have to rush our parents onto the home?
The best karma? We grow old too.
Great post! cheers.. :)
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