I was driving home from work yesterday morning and there was this ad on the radio, which started with a joke from Homer Simpson. Marge was asking "What ever happened to please and thank you" Homer replied " They killed each other " At first I thought is was funny and such a coincidence to hear as a colleague and I had just been talking about a couple of the patients and wondered where their manners went.
I realize that if you are in the hospital you aren't at your best. If you were you wouldn't be there. Just because you aren't feeling doesn't give you the right to be constantly rude and to forget your manners. I ask you, is there any reason why a person can't say "may I please, or would you please" or something along those line. Rather than "get me this or that" or "why haven't you done...." or "Where have you been , I have been waiting..."
I don't know it just seem so strange. There are those patients who I am convince think I am their personal attendant and that I should be at their beckon call. I have never been rude to a patient who has spoken poorly to me, although I do confess I have been extremely tempted sometimes. I must admit that I have had to be firm with some of them on an occasion and to remind them that they are not my only patient.
My colleague is of the opinion that it was mostly elderly who behave in this way whilst in the hospital. Her rationale is that she believes the seniors feel it is there right to be "waited on" they've worked hard done their time....etc. I tend to disagree. I think bad manners has become universal, and I think it is any particular age group or culture. I just think they either were never taught about manners or they chose to be down right rude.
There was this one lady who was in the 4 bed room who insisted on being up at 0200 to wash up. My colleague went in to tell her what time it was and that it wasn't really time for that and that is was disturbing the other patients. Her response was, I don't care I do this at home. Well sorry lady you aren't at home you are in the hospital and sharing a room with others who are unwell. Out of consideration for all please just go back to bed and wait till morning when day staff would be more than happy to help you get set up for your wash. Then there was who I call Mr. Grumpy pants. He didn't give a hoot who was in the room he wanted this and he wanted that and he wanted his curtains open and on and on. He was so rude not only to us but inconsiderate of the other patients in the room.
My mother always told me:
You get more with honey than you do with water.
What goes around comes around.
Remember your manners.
Be mindful of your elders.
Speak kindly to one another, who knows that might be your future in law
Hold the door open for someone.
Offer to help carry a parcel when you see their arms are full.
Do what you can to help out.
Think of others before you think of yourself.
I guess those folks forgot to attend that class!
Hope you all have a grand day!!!!
15 comments:
Oh do I hear what you are saying!
I too am an RN, here in rural Alberta. The rudeness of patients, and family, and doctors, etc is appalling. I cannot understand why people feel the need to be so unpleasant. I do understand when people are not feeling well, that it may be difficult, but I tell you, even the sickest person can say thank you. I have made it VERY clear to my children that manners are essential.
Manner is something my husband and I insisted upon with our children and we've noticed they've done the same with our children.
How sad that when people are in the hospital that they can't be courteous to those helping them as well as other patients...
Manners seem to be going the way of the dodo in all settings.
It is sad to see.....
I work hard on it with my kids.
My mom always instilled respect in us children and I did the same with my own boys...I hope that when they have kids of their own, they will continue to teach what respect is all about, no matter how old you are! When my youngest son Corey worked at Canadian Tire he said the worst customers were the older people...they were rude and ignorant. He said he found that funny because usually it's the young generation that is told they show no respect! It's really sad to see that manners don't seem to be a part of life anymore. Great post! xox
You'd think that people would be nice to those who literally have their lives in their hands, and who have direct influence on their comfort levels. I know I would want my nurse(s) to be happy to come to my room instead of reluctant to.
Btw, THANK YOU, all of you health care professionals!!! You do jobs that few people can, and I for one am very grateful.
Every hospital patient room should have a plaque posted that says, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." That way, if the RN comes into the room and the patient is being disrespectful, he or she can point to the plaque. Maybe the patient will get the message.
After having worked in a hospital setting for 17 years, I have met some pretty nasty folks, some not feeling well and some totally unappreciative of the care and services they were getting. On more than one occasion I was called in by the nursing staff to have a little talk with some patients who exhibited a certain unappreciativeness for the care they were receiving. Their attitude changed significantly after I had my little talk with them. Every hospital should have someone, an ombudsman or other patient care coordinator, whose job is to "correct" the manners of certain patients.
I echo the thanks to you and all the other RNs in the world for the wonderful job you do. If not for RNs, physicians would be lost. Fortunately, I have only encountered several incidents of bad manners from nursing staff when I was a patient, and I quickly remedied that situation. (When I was working, I found that even though I am only 5 ft. 1 inches tall, I could stare down anyone. Worked every time.)
What a lovely post! I'm sorry you have to deal with rude patients (as if your job wasn't hard enough already). But look at the bright side: they make you appreciate even more those people who are always gracious even when they aren't feeling up to snuff.
Thank you for visiting my blog, I'll come back.
It takes someone special to do the job you do.
When Mike was in the hospital for his back surgery, he was the favorite of every shift :)
mary anne, there are two sides to this story dear. i was in the hospital for ten days in may and i had some very rude curt nurses. i was always polite to them, always. one was so bad one day i said to her "is there something i have done to you or do you just dislike me for no reason?" her reply was to put her head down and tell me that she just thought she had been in nursing too long. i told her that i agreed with her, as nicely as i could. my daughter is also a nurse and she said they were the worst nurses she had ever seen as well. for example: i had a foley cathater (sp?) for five days. i also had very swollen ankles. the nurse gave me two water pills and took the cathater out at 11:30 PM and i could not get out of bed yet. i had to then ring for a bed pan, she was very slow. i could not hold it. she got mad. i was so distraught i didn't know what to do.
so see, honey i am sure you are a wonderful caring person and nurse, but not all are as sweet as you. i would rather do anything than go back into the hospital. and btw, i was paying extra for a private room and the floor i was on had very few critical patients. it was a "non infection" (?) area. i don't know if i am saying that right but i am sure you know what i mean.
also twice i did not get my diabetes medicine for hours past the time it should have been given.
so my dear friend, please do not judge us too harshly. some of us are a pita (pain in the a$$), but we aren't the only ones.
smile......bee
ps: i only just now could get on your blog, non beta blogs have had beta blogs locked out all day. they we could get in but not comment. sorry..... (still friends???)
MAry Anne, there are rude people in all walks of life and in every profession. I have seen it from both sides. For the majority, I have experienced wonderful care from the nurses I have had, but I also had a hospitalization where I received the worst care imaginable. I have many health professionals in my family..I have nothing but respect for the medical profession....
When I was recovering from my TKR and was using the walker going to therapy I saw some real dandy's..
To my surprise it was the middle aged and older women who were the worst...They wouldn't hold a door for someone using a walker going into therapy, if their life counted on it...The most helpful age group and sex were the 30-40 YR old men... They ALWAYS would hold open the doors and even wait for me if they seen I was heading that way..And they always smiled and had some nice greating..
Since I am a 54 year old female, it bothered me alot that so many women in my age range are so very rude.
So my experience has been that the men are a step ahead of us women in the manners department.
You are so kind and caring that I can't imagine anyone being rude to you..Shame on them!
I feel that manners should be so ingrained in a person that please comes out of your mouth naturally, no matter what condition you are in. I won't get my kids Bo Diddley unless they say please.
Gotta go, four year old want grape juice NOW!
Sara
Hey, all y'all - Mary Anne made up a shoebox for "Operation Christmas Child" and is putting it in the mail to me tomorrow to deliver.
She is one nice lady as well as a busy one - working 12 hour shifts, looking after our loved ones whether they are polite or not - and deserves much praise.
Thanks Mary Anne - and don't ever let those nasty, rude people make you stoop to their level.
Keep on keepin' on!
I always find it prudent to be nice to folks who can decide where to stick you and how hard to stick you....
When I was in the hospital after the birth of my daughter, I was on sick puppy, being stuck every 4 hours for blood with an IV in each arm. I still was cheerful and even said thank you when they were done. My sister was like your being to nice, I said why be anything but, they are doing there job and doing it well.
Oh my god, there's a lot of effective material in this post!
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