Birthday's and such.....

Well my youngest really enjoyed her Birthday party on the weekend. A good time was had by all. Catching up with family. Seeing people I haven't seen since the summer. It was a real treat all the way around. I was hoping to share some pictures but our camera was misbehaving....but here is one of her opening her gift from her dad...it's an iPod....the mask she is wearing is one I got her last year for a mascaraed ball....and well the tiara was a must.....all Princess's for their 16th Birthday have to wear a tiara don't ya know.....

And here is a photo of her Birthday cake.....it was a carrot cake....I am told it was very yummy....I don't know about you...but when I am organizing things and entertaining I don't tend to eat as I find I am to busy making sure everyone has what they need and are having a good time.....

Today, we celebrate another Birthday.....today is my hubby's Bday! I am not allowed to say how old he is but he likes to remind me he is much younger.....I say....not so much.....Anyhow, for his birthday I am going to make him one of his favourite meals and for his birthday cake he asked for a cherry cheese cake, which I baked last night. His parents will be coming for dinner to help celebrate.....Happy Birthday sweetie!!!!

So here I am onto my second cup of java and haven't really accomplished a whole heck of a lot. I think I might be procrastinating. Working 8 hour shifts I am at work more which leaves less down time. I don't know why it is but even when I do have down time I seem to fill it. Today, I most certainly would like to get a run in...so I have to make that a priority....after that...well....hubby and I went and bought some material to make a shower curtain....we couldn't find one we liked pre made in the store...so we decided that we should make one....good idea. We also couldn't find a shower rod we liked so we got a wooden dowel which I have to sand and varnish....when this bathroom project is all done I will have to show you the amazing tile and granite work my hubby did....he is very talented....oops I better not say to much more...he reads my blog and well don't want to give him a big ego....don't ya know. Anyhow, my day awaits me....

Seeing as this post has primarily been about birthdays I would like to leave you with this quote...it's about getting older...

We grow neither better or worse as we get old, but more like ourselves.

~Mary Lamberton Becker~

Reflection........

I have been doing a lot of reflecting lately. Not so much about life and it's purpose, but rather how have I dealt with the challenges my life has presented me.

Currently, I find myself faced not only with physical challenges but emotional and financial. I am looking into my past to see how I dealt with such issues and reading lots on finding ways to deal with events that life presents me now.

My hubby has just as many worries on his plate as I, but he deals with things in a much more positive manner. We are so different that way.....he is certainly a person who sees his cup as half full.....if one door closes he sees it as an opportunity for another one to open. Over the past four years he has had to deal with so much adversity it would make the average persons head spin. I guess I have had to as well being his wife. But as I said we look at things much differently.

I worry about paying the bills.....wishing and hoping there was something left over so we could put it away for a rainy day.....it seems it's always a rainy day in that category. We spends hours trying to figure out how to make the best of what we have and how we can change our financial situation.....he continues to be positive and tries very hard to help me find the silver lining.

I was watching the news last night.....although our government won't say we are heading into a recession I truly believe we are. The retailers are crying the blues because we are not spending money.....the towns south of the border are hurting because we Canadians aren't spending our dollars ......how can we when our dollar is only worth 79 cents! I have convinced myself that there will be no presents under the tree this year. Honestly, I have made the conscious decision to not go further into debt....I will not be one to go out and spend just because it's Christmas. We will gather for dinner, I will pepare a feast...we will sit by the fire and enjoy good times and laugh....I will just soak up the sense of warmth and joy I will feel just having them with me.

So back to my reflection.....because I find myself being faced with some hard times I am finding myself taking a count of my life and what truly matters. I have come to the conclusion that no matter how hard I try if I were to die tomorrow or the banks were to come and repossess my home....would it really matter? I couldn't take any of it with me anyways. So I ask myself, if that was the case, would I really need it, and what is it that I truly need? As I said, if the banks want my house they can have it......but they can't take my spirit.....they can't take my love I have for my husband and family. As I think this, and type this, I realize how true.....life is far to short to worry about possessions.

I like to consider myself as a responsible person. I will live up to my financial commitments I will not look to others to bail me out of something that I partially caused myself. That is not in my nature.....if I caused it then it is up to me to solve it. Reflection.

I have noticed the leaves turning their brilliant hues of orange, red and yellow. I have watched the huge oak leaves as they flutter through air and make their graceful landing to the ground below. I look at the creeks and river beds and the water how it flows......the eagles as they hover overhead waiting to feast on the salmon who are making their last journey home to rest......I am surrounded by such beauty......I am blessed......I am learning and reflecting that there is so much more to life than rushing, and pushing and shoving to get ahead......ahead of what?

There is a poem "If I had a chance to live my life over again"......and in it there is a line that says....."I would get down on the floor and play with my children more".....how true.....not only would I get down on the floor and play more.....but I would try to see life from their eyes.....to look at things like I was looking at them for the first time....touching them and smelling them.......I would laugh that belly laugh....that laugh that brings tears to your eyes......I would stop taking life and myself so seriously......I would try to remember to tell those around me how much I love them and how much they mean to me.

Reflection, I had the most wonderful lunch with colleagues from my old job yesterday they gave me a gift basket full of wonderful items....one such item was a book titled "The Friendship Book" It is full of many thoughts and inspirations....I would like to leave you with this one....

"When you arise in the morning, give thanks for the morning light,for your life and strength. Give thanks for your food and joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies in yourself." ~ Tecumseh~

Happy Birthday............

Well I certainly hope I didn't offend anyone with my last post. It just caught me as funny and I generally don't have a very good sense of humour but that just made me chuckle and if I laugh I figure most people would laugh as well.

It's my youngest daughter's 16th birthday on the weekend. Tomorrow hubby and I are making the trek over to the mainland to celebrate her birthday in style.

I have organized a party for her. Sweet 16 isn't what it used to be...but being the traditionalist that I am I had to have a party. I rented the hall where she lives...got all the decorations, ordered the cake, have to pick up the flowers and balloon bouquet on Saturday.

Saturday morning will be spent decorating and cooking. It's primarily family who will be attending....but seeing as I come from a family of 12 children that can be a lot of people, with cousins and aunts and uncles and of course friends.

This is my youngest daughter, so I know it will be the last time I get to do this. It means a lot to me. She means a lot to me, and I want to make it special for her. I know she will be embarrassed and won't want all the fuss made about her....but when she gets older I am sure she will remember it...and be thankful for it.

It's funny how traditions somehow regulate our lives. I mean when I was growing up there were certain things that were expected that we did because it was "Tradition". Are there things in your life that are done just because they are "tradition"?

Have a good weekend all......I am off for the weekend.

Things you get in your email.....

So I got this email the other day and I just had to share it........


Virus Alert!

If your computer does this when copying a file.............

You know it's been infected with some bad S--t!

Have a great day all!

All in a day.......

In my last post and my rant about accessibility to health care in rural communities, I mentioned that although our system had it's flaws there are good points to it as well. Today I want to share a story where the system does work.

I worked over the weekend. The other day at work I was recovering a patient who had been called in by the surgeon. He had the results of her MRI and said he wanted to perform an examination but the patient would need to have general anesthetic. Hence I was her nurse in the recovery room.

I think I have mentioned in previous posts how patients wake up in varying states emotions, crying, vomiting, shivering, laughing and smiling. This lady was a smiler(is that a word?) Anyhow, she had the most beautiful smile, and such gentle caring eyes. As she was drifting in and out of la la land....I was reviewing the reports from the surgeon. The news was not good. She had cancer. While she was still half asleep the doctor ordered all kinds of blood work to be drawn, he went down to CT and booked her for a scan, he went and spoke with the husband. Once she was awake he spoke with her. Her beautiful smile was quickly turned upside down. She was suspicious herself but to have it confirmed of course was terrible news. The surgeon was just so wonderful with her, he told her he made all the arrangements for further tests, he requested a rush on the biopsies, and he would coordinate everything for her to get to the Cancer center in Victoria. He was very gentle and kind with her. She in her stunned and still somewhat groggy state was trying to take it all in.

After the surgeon left, I asked her if she had any questions she couldn't think of any at the time.....she went on to say....she just got married in the summer to the man of her dreams. My heart sank. As she became more clear we chatted some more and I answered some more of her questions. I helped her get dressed and wheeled her out to her waiting husband. They gently and lovingly hugged.....she kissed his hand. I wheeled her to the elevator and they held hands the whole way. I left them at the elevator.....they needed some privacy and to be able to start to share what would the road ahead would have in store for them.

Although this story is a sad one, it demonstrates that when someone truly needs the services of our health care system it is there for them....treatment is given in an expedited fashion. She will have to undergo radiation and chemotherapy treatments, but that will be after her trip to Victoria next week.

My thoughts and prayers go out to her.

Another Health Care rant...............

So I have a gripe. If you are not in the mood to read about a gripe you just might want to bypass this post and go find a happy place.

Here it is. Health care. I am damn proud of our Canadian health care. It has flaws.....everything has flaws. I accept that. However, I still want to go to Victoria(capital city for our beautiful province) and shake the living bee geebees out of the Minister of health.

It would appear that health care really doesn't exist if you live outside of the Lower Mainland(Vancouver, Burnaby, North and West Vancouver,Surrey, Richmond, etc), or outside of Victoria. Now I know I have bitched about this before...but today my twizzlers are really in a knot.

Two things....I need to have an ultrasound done on my shoulder. My doctor ordered it back in September....she had her office re-fax the request 10 days ago....I called again today just to see if they even had a date. No date. They are booking into December.....they can't give me a date. There was no point getting mad at the booking clerk, it's not her fault. She told me they get 120 requests a day for ultrasounds.....gosh I didn't think we had that many residents north of Nanaimo that would make up such a list..but apparently we do.

My husband was telling me about overhearing a conversation at the hospital yesterday, the booking clerk was speaking to someone about making an appointment....again she said to them that the earliest they were booking was into December and that if she wanted anything early she should call the hospital in Victoria or even try going to Vancouver. Here is what bothered us about this. As we have no idea as to how old the person was that they were speaking to on the other end of the phone, but we thought, if that was an elderly lady being told she had results of a test and the doctor wanted her to have another test..but that she should book it on her own...how wrong is that....poor thing....she was most probably flustered at the news and then having to comprehend everything else the clerk was telling her. But here's the icing on the cake....the clerk told her that if she did manage to get an appointment either in Victoria or Vancouver to please call her back so she could give her spot to someone else. To me that is just wrong. If the hospital can't provide the service then I think they should be arranging the service for the patient at another facility, don't you?

Here's the other thing. If I was on an insurance claim like Worker's Compensation or ICBC they would have me in there and have the test done so fast your head would spin. You see the longer they have someone on an insurance claim the longer they(the insurance companies) have to pay and of course they don't want that....so for some reason they seem to be able to bump the average person in the line.....not right. Yet, if I look at it from an employer and insurance stand point I can understand that they would want things expedited. You see if they can get the problem diagnosed sooner and treatment started sooner the sooner the person gets back to work....yes it all makes sense. However, Mrs. Smith, or Mr. Jones or Smalltown RN who are patiently waiting there turn in line wait and wait and wait. Now I know from a health care standpoint that if something was urgent it truly does get dealt with relatively quickly.....it's just frustrating.

Here we are in our small communities...begging for a doctor to come to town so we can at least have a doctor....then we have to travel anywhere from 30 - 60 km to get xrays, or ultrasounds done...we have one lab in my town and you can wait sometimes up to two hours just to get blood work drawn. It's all just frustrating.

Sometimes my suspicious mind takes over and I wonder if this is truly a plot that our provincial government has in trying to privatize health care....trying to convince us that it would be better, that we would be seen quicker......I don't think that is the case. We can't even get doctors or services here now. I think it is just a ploy to convince us that privatizing health care is the way to go....and I won't even entertain that thought...that's just wrong.

If the insurance companies want their clients seen quicker then why don't they have clinic of their own.....they pay the government to open the clinic..the government operates the clinic...and only clients that are part of insurance claims can go there.....they then wait their turn just like anyone else and get their treatment.

It's been a real eye opener for me moving out of the Lower Mainland where health care is so readily available.......It's a shame, I didn't realize I had to sacrifice the ability to access health care in order to live a healthier life style.....go figure.....

Humour Thursday.......

Subject: Mirror mirror on the wall

>>>> *Mirror Mirror*

>>>> *Shrek, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were all having lunch

>>>> together.

>>>> Shrek said, 'I have always thought that I'm the strongest man in

>>>> the world, but how can I be sure?'

>>>> Angelina Jolie agreed. 'I'm told I'm the most gorgeous of them

>>>> all, but sometimes I wonder.'

>>>> Brad Pitt said, 'I'm pretty sure I'm the sexiest man alive but

>>>> I've never had it confirmed.'

>>>> They all decided that the best way to find out if their beliefs

>>>> were true was to ask the famed talking 'mirror, mirror on the

>>>> wall' to confirm for them whether Shrek was the strongest,

>>>> Angelina Jolie was the most gorgeous and Brad Pitt was the sexiest.

>>>> They agreed to meet again the next day for lunch to discuss their findings.

>>>> The next day Shrek walked up with a smile. 'Well, it's true.

>>>> The mirror told me that I am the strongest man in the world.'

>>>> Brad Pitt perked up and said: 'And I know for sure that I'm the sexiest man alive.'

>>>> But Angelina Jolie lifted her sad, gorgeous face and said...

>>>> ...

>>>> "Who the hell is Smalltown RN ????? Bah Ha!! Ha!!

Happy Thursday all !!!!

Election Day.............

Today is our Federal election. I posted about this a couple of weeks ago wondering how many people were prepared for our Federal election and how in the Canadian system we can announce, run a campaign and have an election in less than 6 weeks.

I looked at our neighbours to the south of us who took over a year to decide who was going to be the head of a political party. I am not saying that is bad or good thing, it's just very different than the way we do things here in Canada. I look at the US a country who was on the verge of financial ruins and yet you have candidates parading their pompous circus about the country side spending millions while people were losing their jobs, and homes and the government of the day was/is asking the public to bail them out.....that's just wrong to me.

Anyhow, back to the Canadian election....today we must all get out there and do our civic duty and vote. Regardless of whether you believe it will make a difference. Our fathers and father's before them fought for freedoms and justice, our mothers fought for the right to vote....generations before us made great sacrifices in order that we may have the right to vote. The right to have a voice in the political arena and a voice for change. Don't throw it away by not voting.

I often here one vote doesn't make a difference. I believe it does. Regardless of whether the party you vote for gets into government at least you know you did your part to make a change. So please, go out and vote!

Happy Thanksgiving....

Well it is a long weekend here in Canada. On Monday we celebrate Thanksgiving. Families will be busy gathering together cooking up family traditional meals and sharing all the things that they have to be thankful for.

Normally I too would be preparing or thinking about Thanksgiving dinner. Not this year. This year I work the whole weekend so I won't be cooking any turkey.....and you know what....I am ok with that. I think I will buy a turkey when they go on sale after thanksgiving and cook up a big meal then.....or maybe not. I look at it this way....look at all the calories I am saving myself....my hips will thank me for it!

So to all my Canadian friends, I wish you all good health and a wonderful Thanksgiving and I hope you are able to spend time with loved ones and truly give thanks for all of your bounty.

What do these have in common.....

Do you know what these two photos have in common? Give Up?
They both come in all shapes, sizes, colours and can be almost anything you want them to be.

You might be thinking where is she going with this. Well a couple of places actually. Some of it positive, and some of it not so positive. I have been a nurse for 20 years....I know there are nurses out there that have been in this profession for 30 or 35 years...it was their life long passion to be a nurse. I work with some of these nurses. When I was at work yesterday and looking around me....the varying nurses that were there, the chatter that was going on....the care that was taking place. It sort of struck me that nursing is as varied as knitted socks. Knitted socks can be what ever you want them to be....they can be bold and bright, striped, boot like, cartoon characters...the list is endless. That is how I see nursing.

Nursing has changed. It's not the traditional bedside nurse that most people think of when they think of nursing. Nurses are seen in research, wound and ostomy care, Operating room, Emergency nursing, Nurse administrators, Nursing instructors/educators, Critical care, Paediatric, Neonatal intensive care, Cardiac intensive care, Nurse practitioners the list is endless.

When I went into nursing 20 years ago I originally thought that I wanted to be a paediatric nurse...after my stint in paediatric nursing I realized that it wasn't for me. I then got a passion for Palliative care and then Critical care. Nursing has been an amazing ride. It's a profession where you have an opportunity to enter into someone's life although briefly, but can make a tremendous impact on their recovery or a dignified death.

Knowing that I am going to be on the receiving end of this care, I have been paying close attention to how nurses interact with their patients. The nurses I will come in contact with will be recovery room nurses, critical care nurses and step down care nurses. All will bring varying degree of expertise. What I am hoping will stay constant is their passion for providing the best possible care they care. To be patient and compassionate. Empathetic and Caring. Is that a tall order? I hope not.

As of late, I have observed nurses who's demeanor I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I don't know what bee is in their bonnet but I wish if they were feeling that miserable that they get out of the profession or call in sick. As in many walks of life we will come across people who come from a variety of backgrounds and whether they acknowledge it or not it can impact their practise causing them to be biased or judgemental.

Now as a recovery room nurse, I care for patients coming out from a variety of surgeries....many are elective surgeries....and many not. With that each patient comes out of anesthetic differently. There are expected outcomes but some people are just more sensitive to the drugs than others and respond differently. Some have a higher pain tolerance than others. Some cry, some feel sick to their stomachs, others are fearful and yet some even laugh. I find, it is how we as nurses interact with these patients that can make a difference in their recovery process. We are often the first face they see and voice they hear when they come out of the anesthetic. They are not at their best. So for us as nurses to judge them....to say they are too needy, or that they are a "whiner" or have no coping skills is out of line. We all come to the table from different socio economic backgrounds. These backgrounds can most certainly play a role on an individual's coping skills.

So socks and nurses do share some similarities....some give you the warm cozy feeling and others are rough and scratchy. I just hope that when it comes to the day of my surgery and hospital stay, I have nurses who still have a passion for nursing and will just accept me for who I am, and that they are wearing their warm fuzzy socks that day.

Contradictions

I was reading in a little book I have called Meditations for Women Who Do Too Much by Anne Wilson Schaef, and I found this topic having to do with "Contradictions" it intrigued me....

"So much of our lives are glaring contradictions. We swear that we will never be like our mothers, then find ourselves screeching on the same note. We know we would never manipulate others the way our boss manipulates us, and then we catch ourselves doing it. We seem to see so clearly "out there", while "in here" is a muddle. Relax, it's all part of this addictive disease process. It's called denial. Breaking through the denial about what is really going on in our lives is the first step in recovery."

When I first started reading this I could see certain characteristics in myself....reading further I am not sure that I would agree that is an "addictive disease" but I would agree with the denial......Any thoughts on that?

I see sunshine on a cloudy day..........

Ok enough already....enough feeling sorry for myself. In my previous post I mentioned that I had made an apron for my daughter.....it's been years since I have sewn....and I sewed this on that $3 sewing machine I told you I picked up at a garage sale....what do ya think?


I opted to do a lining with it to give it more thickness....I incorporated the lining into the pocket..I trimmed the top of the pocket with the same colour as the front....but you know now that I look at it...I think maybe I should have done the pocket in the same colour and then trimmed it with the reverse colour. I just loved the material. It really should have been for Thanksgiving...but seeing as that is this weekend it will just have to do as a fall apron. It's my youngest daughters birthday on the 25th and she is really a Susie homemaker. She loves to bake and cook, she just recently learnt how to bake pies! So I thought as part of her birthday present I would give her this apron, I am going to make up a collection of some of my favourite recipes and put them in a book, I also got her a couple of kitchen utensils. I am hoping she will like it. Of course I will be getting her something off of her birthday list...but I thought this would be a little something especially from me to her.

I love this little clip art of Piglet and Pooh.....it's just so cheery.....how can it not put a smile on your face.

Not feeling so sunny today.....

It was a relatively quite weekend for me. Saturday I spent the morning searching the Internet and drinking my latte....by early afternoon I decided it was time to do some house chores....hubby had asked me about a recipe I had for some cookies....hint hint.....so I baked some cookies. Saturday evening we spent over at the in laws playing cards...nice peaceful and relaxing. Sunday was pretty mellow as well.....after my morning latte I went out and cleared some brush at the top of the property....hubby was busy cutting down a tree and chopping it for firewood. By early afternoon I found myself cutting out material for an apron I made for my youngest daughter. All in all it was a productive weekend...but my mind was somewhere else.

Since my appointment with the specialist last week I have been a tad preoccupied to say the least, and to top it off I just physically have not been myself.

I think my blah, humdrum rainy day doldrums are taking their toll. My head is whirling with all the possibilities for the outcome of the surgery.....I am telling myself not to worry but in doing so I worry. My brother's wife called me on Saturday expressing her concern for me and really wished I would consider having my surgery sooner rather than later. I explained the rationale for the decision on the date and thanked her for her concern she was truly being very genuine and I was very appreciative of that, but it certainly did not help with my mood.

Part of me keeps saying "chin up" get on with it.....don't waste good energy worrying about something you have no control over. So when I say that, I try and distract myself by keeping busy...hence the sewing...and knitting.

Some times it works....some times it doesn't. There is part of me that just wants to crawl under the covers and come out when it is all over. But that isn't going to happen. Life must go on.....I must continue to be productive and enjoy everything that life puts before me. I just want to scream. I feel like a bundle of contradictions. There is a definite right and left side of me going on. The "don't worry be happy" and the "I am pissed,angry,sad and scared" side of me, and I hurt. I ache all over. Kinda like you feel when you get the flu.....but no fever, no sick stomach, nothing just this constant dull ache throughout my whole body. Like it's feeling it's all worn out.

I keep trying to do.....but Ifind I have to do a lot of self talk....generally this would come natural.....I love to run and be active....not so much right now....it's a struggle to get me onto my stepper...I'm doing it, but not enough.....so then I feel bad....I feel good mentally after I have exercised so I know it is something I should really work at trying to continue to do...but I would be lying if I didn't say it was a struggle.

Maybe I am just in a funk. But I ask you....don't you sometimes feel like you just want to hide till all bad things go away....like the ostrich? Or what about when you just aren't feeling like yourself but those around you think you should just get on with it. I want to smack them....well not really but you know what I mean? Or do you?

Monday is another day...I see my physio in the morning then my GP and in the evening....I am going to bellydancing.....so maybe that will help me with my funk.

Let's Dance...............

I was looking at that picture I posted yesterday with Fred Astair and Ginger Rogers. Gosh weren't they just an elegant couple....how they just flowed on the dance floor....they made it look so effortless. That photo really put a smile on my face.

I have wanted to take ballroom dancing for some time....initially hubby said he would, but now not so much. I love to dance as does he... I always thought it would be nice to have some professional lessons to learn some new steps. Anyhow, I don't see that happening in the near future..not that I am giving up....oh no....

A couple of the girls I work with are taking belly dancing lessons and asked if I would like to join them. Most people when they think of belly dancing think of the women dressed like this dancing and gyrating around the tables at Greek restaurants......

For me I think about the historic dancers....like these.....and how mystical and hypnotic their dance was...

According to Wikpedia:

Belly dance is a Western term for a traditional Middle Eastern dance form. Some American devotees refer to it simply as "Middle Eastern Dance." In the Arabic language it is known as raqs sharqi ( literally "oriental dance") or sometimes raqs baladi literally "national" or "folk" dance. The term "raqs sharqi" may have originated in Egypt. In Greece and the Balkans, belly dance is called tsiftetelli , çiftetelli in Turkish. The term "belly dance" is a creation of Orientalism, first used in English in 1899, and translating in French to "danse du ventre."

Belly dancing has really become popular with the general public. I took belly dancing lessons about 6 years ago and it was so much fun....it was really awkward at first and I felt very silly, but what a great work out. All sorts of people take belly dancing lessons....as evident by these photos.....

Anyhow, these lessons are a win win.....they are held at a community hall....it's by donation and all proceeds go towards a Christmas party for the less fortunate children in the area. Sounds good to me....I get to learn how to dance and have a great work out at the same time doing something for the community.

So I guess it's time I got up and shook my booty.....Happy Weekend all!

Doing the Friday dance..........

Well it's Friday and I am doing the happy dance. It's been a long week and the weekend couldn't come soon enough.

Being a shift worker Friday's don't really mean that much to me. But tomorrow is truly a Friday for me and I am looking forward to the weekend.

Not sure why I get excited about the weekend because I usually fill them up with things to do.....but I guess it's a change from the "Having" to get up and get into work. I can do my chores or not.....I don't "Have" to do anything if I don't want to. But being the Type A kinda of gal I am I feel obligated to get the chores done.....Some days I would far rather just sit and read my book or lay in bed past 0700....but I don't I just can't seem to do that. I've always been the type of person that had to get her chores done...and then I could have fun. I think that comes from when I was little, my brothers and sisters and I always had to do our chores before we could have fun. I mean if I went for a sleep over I would have to be up at the crack of dawn and get home to get my chores done. Funny how that carried on into my adult life.

Regardless.....it's Friday.....I do "Have" to go in to work, but it is for an educational day. Then it will be the weekend, and I really do plan on trying to just relax and have some fun.

What about you.....do you look forward to your weekends? Do you make plans? Or do you just go with the flow?

I hope you all find some time for yourself.....Happy Friday all!

Life is like a box of chocolate's.......

Life is funny sometimes isn't. Just when you think you got all your ducks in a row...somebody or something comes along and ruins the line. I think sometimes I have been guilty of being that someone.

As I nurse I have often had to be on stand by for the patient when the doctor delivers bad news. I want to be there so I know what he/she has said to the patient so if they have any questions I know what has been told to them and how to best explain it. In the hospital setting the specialists often rush into the room give an overall view of what is going on and what the plan is. They often don't take the time to provide the patient with an opportunity to ask questions, or to help alleviate some of the stress the patient may experience based on the information the doctor has given them. I try to put myself in the patients shoes. How would I feel if I was spoken to in that manner, what is it that I need to know to help me understand the information that was just given to me....how would that effect my life?

Well I have been on the receiving end of news from doctors many times in my life. Yesterday was no exception. I am not sure if I have mentioned this on my blog before or not, but I have a pacemaker. I have had one since I was 23 years old for a condition called Sick Sinus Syndrome. Sick sinus syndrome is a condition where the heart has episodes of tachycardia(going to fast) and bradycardia(going to slow). The heart as a muscle open and closes the valves in a rhythmic method which produces the heart beat. The muscle does this through an electrical pathway which starts in your atrium Sinus Node. So in Sick sinus syndrome the sinus node is literally "Sick" as it is not controlling the electrical impulses the way it should. This is a very elementary explanation of the heart as a pump....if you would like to know more about how the heart works as a pump you can check out this siteHeart for more information.

Getting my pacemaker was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I was able to have three healthy children, participate in all aspects of life, from sky diving, water/snow skiing, tubing, wake boarding, para sailing, horseback riding, playing ball, golfing...you name it, I let nothing stop me except my own fear of maybe getting hurt.

As much as I would have loved my pacemaker to last my whole life....it didn't and they don't. The average life expectancy of a pacemaker is 7 - 12 years. I have generally required getting my pacemaker changed earlier for a variety of reasons. I am currently on my 4th pacemaker. The pacemaker itself is made up of two components the battery component(generator) and the leads. These leads are attached to the PM(pacemaker) and then directed into your atrium and ventricle. Again if you would like to learn more about Pacemakers why and how they are used you can check out this site here. Like any battery the more you use it the sooner it wears out. This is true with PM's but a little more complex. Life expectancy of PM's as I stated is 7 - 12 years. But this depends on how the PM is set and how often it is used. There are many settings within the PM to help you get the best quality of life for you and to help extend the life of the PM.

As I mentioned the PM(battery component) has a life expectancy so do the leads. When a person first gets a PM they may only get a single lead...then a few years down the road it might be determined they need another lead....hence making the original lead older. As time goes on leads can possibly fracture, wear out or become faulty. In the case of a lead becoming old and requiring replacing the surgeon will often cap the old lead and put in a new lead. Also, like anything mechanical it can be faulty and need replacing...such was the case when I had a lead replaced two years ago. You must appreciate that these leads are going through a very small vessel and can only accommodate so many leads.

After my last PM change and lead replacement I have been uncomfortable. Month after the operation I was back in having another operation as the lead that was capped migrated to the top of my PM. Now two years later I am still uncomfortable and it is affecting my quality of life.

The short version, I spoke with the Surgeon who did my last PM and lead he suggested I see the cardiac surgeon in Vancouver. I saw this specialist yesterday.

He was very relaxed and hence made me feel relaxed. Prior to seeing this doctor I did a lot of research regarding Lead extractions and options. I didn't really think I was a candidate for the procedure. After a very lengthy discussion with him it has been determined that not only does he want to remove my lead he wants to take everything out all three leads and the PM and put a complete new unit in another part of my body. Here's the thing. He believes I have a infection brewing hence the pain and burning I am getting. Because this site has been opened up so many times this site becomes a prime candidate for infection. Lead extraction is major surgery. Because one of my leads is over 23 years old makes it even more complicated and risky. He believes he can get them all out....the problem is that I might require open heart surgery and all of the risks that goes along with that...which I won't even go into right now.

Here is what I know.....if there is an infection I will be on antibiotics for minimum a week but possibly as long as a month...if I have to be on them for a month they have to put a special intravenous line into me so they can get frequent access with out having to poke me all the time...if this happens my stay in the hospital will be longer. If they end up having to do open heart, which would require cracking my sternum I will be in hospital longer and recovery will be 4 - 6 months post discharge from the hospital.

So you can imagine that I have a lot to take in.....lots of things to consider....and getting my ducks all in a row. The surgeon wanted to do it as early as the 15th of this month. I said no. I have my youngest daughters 16th birthday this month and I am planning a big Sweet 16 party for her. They then gave me November but middle daughters birthday is that month and I certainly don't want it in December, to close to Christmas. So I am booked for January 2009. I have lots to do before then....lots of things to get organized.

When things like this happen it really helps you put life into perspective now doesn't it. It makes me think of that song "Live like your were dying". Enjoy everyday, don't sweat the small stuff and it's ok to leave the dishes until tomorrow.

I think this has been my wake up call.......

Did you know.......

We have a Federal election coming up in a few weeks? If you didn't know news flash we do...October 14th is the date. I am just amazed at how little we are hearing about the election. I find we are still being inundated with the news south of the border regarding the US election.

Well I am sorry, yes I know it is important to know what is going on in the world around us especially with our neighbours to the south being the US, but should that negate us losing or taking interest in what is going on in our own country?

I don't know about you,but I am really not hearing anything from any of the parties about what their political party plans are for the future of this country. I have heard snippets of Layton saying he would scrap the Soft lumber agreement, Dion and his Carbon Tax....and well waxy mortician like Harper is just trying to make us believe he is a family man. Have you seen any of those adds with Harper sitting in his wing backed chair talking about his fond memories of being a dad.....well that's just great Mr. Harper, now would you get on with improving the health of this country.

There are so many issues that aren't even being talked about. Like health care, education, child care, seniors issues and the list goes on. Where is all the public debate I haven't heard of one in my area. Seems like everyone is just keeping a tight lip and not saying anything.....well what good is that. For example I haven't heard a word out of the current Federal incumbent in my area ....I have seen his signs but not a word about his position on any topic or performing public appearances and doing town hall meetings. Nothing, Nada, zilch. I was talking with my husband the other day and saying how I really didn't know anything about this man...I don't know what he has done good or bad.. he is a non entity as far as I am concerned...I honestly can't tell you what he has done for his constituency and I am suppose to vote for him....I don't think so...but then I look at the other candidates and again I don't have a clue as to what their position is on health care for example. That is not like me. I generally know who the candidates are what their position is on certain topics etc....but this time no one is really getting out there and speaking up...and that worries me.

I wonder how many of my blogging friends south of the border even know that Canada has a Federal election coming up in just 2 weeks.....not many I suspect. I bet you more Canadians know about all of the nuances about the American candidates than they do about the candidates in their own riding. I mean look how we are being flooded with news about Pallin and her bizarre background and her pregnant daughter and McCain and his forgetfulness and will Obama has been in the limelight for over a year now...goodness....I bet more Canadians know more about American politics than they do of their own. Could you imagine the Americans having an election for the President in under a 2 month period.....never....dear god it took them over a year to determine who was going to be the leader of a party and now the race for presidency is on...which is really anti climatic if you ask me.

This brings me to another topic. How is it that the Canadian government can announce and hold a Federal election under 6 weeks! Yes the announcement for the Federal election came on September 7th and the election will be October 14th! This doesn't leave us much time to really find out much and or challenge the candidates on issues. What the politicians are saying is so vague....it really doesn't make them accountable for anything...now isn't that convenient. If you are at all interested here is a little news clip regarding the announcement of the Federal election and a very brief synopsis of what the leaders of each party are saying they will do for this country of ours....Canada election-call .

Saturday Scavenger Photo Hunt

This weeks theme is "View". The first thing that came to my mind was the movie "Window with a view"....which then gave me my idea for portraying the theme this week. Here are some photos of a bit of the wild life I have seen through my kitchen windows over the past year.

This is a view I see out of one of my kitchen windows (early spring)

Or the California Quail, male(the one with the tuff), female and baby....see from another on of my kitchen windows.

Or this lovely Pinesiskin just sitting in the tree just outside my kitchen window......yes I do feel fortunate to have such a room with a view.

If you would like to join in on the fun please check out tnchick for all of the instructions.....Happy Hunting all!

Nursing stuff......

Well it would appear that my blog has gained a little notoriety. Apparently it has been included in a post from RNCentral.com for nursing students....it's "100 Best Blogs for Nursing Students"
I found this to be quite an honour as included in this list is one of my all time favourite nursing bloggers Nurse Ratched. I am very honoured that my blog has been recognized by RNCentral, and I truly hope I can bring something to the table for our future nurses.

I have also been approached to review a book entitled "Reflections on Doctors: Nurses' Stories about Physicians and Surgeons" by Terry Ratner a Registered Nurse and Freelance writer. He says that "Reflections" is an anthology of stories by nurses across the US and talks about their experiences working with physicians and surgeons. He says the book provides situations and issues rarely discussed that arise in medicine and how the role of "nurse" has changed. It sounds like it would be a good read. I thought it would be appropriate to post it here as it seems to tie in with above. So if nursing students are going to check out my blog they may as well check out Terry and his book. So if you are interested in getting more information on his book you can get more information at: remy@mediamuscle.com

Something Shocking.....

As health care practitioners we are faced with many challenges and diversities. In previous posts I have spoken about Ethics and it's impact on health care. As as RN's we are often put in positions in assisting or caring for patients who are undergoing treatments or procedures that ethically and morally push some of our personal boundaries.

Case in point. I remember when I was a nursing student and my instructor told me how tired she was of treating people who came in to the Emergency department for attempted suicide. I will never forget what she said to me one day. She said that some days she gets so frustrated that if they really wanted to kill themselves she would show them the correct way to do it. This really took me aback, but it opened up dialogue with my classmates to discuss situations that we would all be faced with in our nursing careers that will push our personal boundaries. In our discussion some students expressed that they might have problems nursing patients who are drug addicts or alcoholics, others expressed concern about dealing with patients who had or were seeking information on termination of an unwanted pregnancy. I remember asking the instructor if we had a right to refuse to work with a particular patient if it really went against our morals....she basically told me no. She said we had to treat all patients with the same care we would treat any patient. If we really had difficulties we could ask a colleague if they wouldn't mind trading assignments but basically it was our duty and responsibility to treat all patients with the same respect and dignity and professionalism. That has always stuck with me.

I to get frustrated at times with some patients who I see using the health care system as a revolving door. Not taking responsibility for their health issues. This of course happens for a variety of reasons. Often it is basically that they don't have the tools to make healthy life choices. This is often due to their socio-economic situation or their mental health.

This brings me to my current challenge. One of my duty as a recovery nurse it to care for patients who have had Electroconvulsive Therapy(ECT). Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) is a procedure used to treat severe depression. It may be used in people with symptoms such as delusions, hallucinations, or suicidal thoughts or when other treatments such as psychotherapy and antidepressant medications have not worked. It is also used for other psychiatric and neurological conditions, such as schizophrenia and Parkinson’s disease.

Before ECT, you are given anesthesia to put you in a sleep like state and medications to relax your muscles. Then an electrical current is briefly sent to the brain through electrodes placed on the temples or elsewhere on the head, depending on the condition and type of ECT. The electrical stimulation, which lasts up to 8 seconds, produces a short seizure. Because of anesthesia, the seizure activity related to ECT does not cause the body to convulse.
It is not known exactly how this brain stimulation helps treat depression, so why do it I ask. They believe that ECT probably works by altering brain chemicals (similarly to medications), including neurotransmitters like serotonin, natural pain relievers called endorphins, and catecholamines such as adrenalin.

ECT treatments are usually done 2 to 3 times a week for 2 to 3 weeks. Maintenance treatments may be done one time each week, tapering down to one time each month. They may continue for several months to a year, to reduce the risk of relapse. ECT is usually given in combination with medication, psychotherapy, family therapy, and behavioural therapy.

I can remember as a nursing students when I was doing my psych rotation at a very old psychiatric hospital where they did the ECT's down in the basement of the building....I found it distressing....the patients were like cattle lined up outside the door...taken into a dark dingy room...treatment performed and then they were moved into this open room where they were drooling and noticeably out of it....they would be observed for a short period of time and then sent back to their wards. I didn't think this was a very good experience for my first time seeing ECT's.

Now here I am now caring for patients who are still having these treatments.....I do question the validity for some of them....I mean we have this one patient that we have to use restraints on because when they come out of the sedation they are extremely violent. I understand the rationale for the treatment but it doesn't mean I have to like it.

Nursing, is a wonderful profession and provides us as individuals so many opportunities to experience and explore healthcare on so many different levels.