It's interesting how life plays out sometimes. Just when you think things are moving along nicely you get sideswiped when you least expect it.
I haven't been blogging as much lately for a variety of reasons, and I honestly can not remember if I have shared certain stories or not. So please bare with me if I repeat myself.
Last spring my mother in law and I had a bit of a falling out. Long story. In the fall I decided that life was to short to allow time to be wasted on being angry with someone. It was October and it was coming up to my hubby's birthday and his parents had invited us over for dinner to celebrate his birthday, how could I not go, it was hubby's birthday after all. So I decided to put on what I call my "big people pants" and suck it up. Well, I guess that was the best thing I could have done as mother in law and I made amends. It actually ended up being a very lovely evening. Once home my hubby said to me that was the best gift he could have asked for. That made me happy.
Since that time we have enjoyed many dinners and outings with his parents. One such outing was taking his parents out for dinner to celebrate their 55th Wedding Anniversary. This was a special time not only we were celebrating their anniversary but the shear fact that my mother in law was still with us and doing well.
Let me back things up a bit here. Last December my mother in law had been diagnosed with Bowel cancer. She underwent radiation and surgery. Her recovery was a little longer than anticipated and there were a few bumps in the road, but by the spring of 2009 she was given a clean bill of health. Things were looking up.
That all changed on December 22, 2009 our lives took a turn. I had been working, and when I got home from work my hubby told me that he had been on the phone to his dad and that mom had been unwell all day and asked if I would call them, I did. We had a lengthy discussion on the phone and I gave her a few options. She opted to wait till the next morning and I would take her into work with me and take her to the ER department where she could be looked at. A plan was in place. It wasn't an hour later that we got a panic call from dad stating that mom was in severe pain. We rushed over. There she was sitting in a chair, ashen, cool and looking very unwell. My mother in law has diabetes along with severe coronary artery disease. I checked her blood sugars which were high as was her blood pressure. This woman was in acute pain. I called an ambulance. Living in the country it took longer than normal for an ambulance to arrive, but arrive it did. She was assessed and then taken to the hospital.
Once in the ER she was quickly triaged and put on a monitor, her blood pressure was through the roof. She was in severe pain. The doctor eventually came and saw her, ordered her some narcotics. Bloodwork and a chest xray were also ordered. We waited patiently at her bedside for results and what would be the plan of attack. Mother in law having finally received something for pain was sleeping. The ER doctor came and asked to speak to FIL, hubby and I. She took us over to an area where she had MIL's xray's up on the screen. She asked us how long we had known about the mass on her lung and liver. ????????????. We had no idea!!!! We were dumbfounded, how could this been. According to the ER doctor the mass on MIL's lung had been there since last year when she first had xrays when she was being overseen for bowel cancer. NO one told us about this. The mass on her lung had tripled in size and was of great concern. Basically, the ER doctor was telling us MIL's prognosis was extremely poor. The ER doctor could see we were all shocked and took us to a quite room where both hubby and father in law proceeded to break down in tears. How could this be? Why didn't we know? What happened, what does all this mean? All the questions and no answers.
Mother in law spent the next couple of days in the hospital. The pain they believe she was experiencing was not caused by the masses they saw but rather she had passed what they believe to be a kidney stone. Had it not been for the acute situation we wouldn't have sought medical attention and who knows how long it would have been till we found out about the masses. There is another story here which I will share at a later date.
As a result, Christmas was very somber. Hubby rounded the troops and told them they better drop what they were doing and plan on seeing mom over the holidays as this may be her last.
We made the best of the Christmas season, many stories were shared, there was laughter and tears and quiet moments of reflection.
Mother in law has had numerous tests since Christmas with the final diagnosis being poor. She and father in law will being going to the cancer agency this week to speak in person to the oncologist to determine course of action. Mother in law has already said she won't do Chemotherapy and she has been told that she is not a surgical candidate do to her co-morbidity's. So whether they offer her palliative radiation I am not sure. She has no pain at present, but the oncologist has told her she will and that they need to plan for that. She has an excellent relationship with the oncologist, to bad we can't say that for her GP, as I said the situation with the GP is a whole other post.
We are trying to make the best of the situation. Mother in law has already given us her "Bucket List" which isn't very big or daunting, but something we can be working on.
I know first hand what it is like to lose a loved one. Having lost both my parents, a sister a niece and nephew, I understand the emotional pain my hubby is experiencing and the journey he is travelling. But I have difficulties comprehending what my father in law is experiencing. I can't imagine the pain he must be feeling...the woman that he has loved for over 55 years...the woman who has bared his children, the woman who has been by his side and encouraged him and supported him in his life endeavours is now dying. Oh my heart aches for him. I pray that he finds comfort and that peace is by his side.
