The dispensable children.......

Seems like everywhere you turn these days there is a new term coming out to describe or lable a disorder or syndrome. Today for example I was reading the Globe & Mail when I came across this article on "Post Adoption Depression" and piqued my curiosity. After reading the first few paragraphs I started to get angry, but I couldn't pin point why I was angry and where those emotions were coming from. I read further. This couple after having 4 biological children said they really wanted to adopt children. So they ended up adopting 2 boys from Guatemala. The first boys was adopted as an infant the article goes on to say this.....

"The minute she laid eyes on her adopted son, a seven-month-old Guatemalan boy, Michelle Brau knew something was wrong, she says.

Instead of joy, she felt dread. Instead of wanting to comfort the infant, she found herself not wanting him at all." I love children," says Ms. Brau, who lives in Springville, Utah.

The article then goes on to say this......"But she couldn't bring herself to love her healthy new son, nor a second boy, aged 2, whom the couple adopted from Guatemala months later."

So here we have a woman who already knows she has unhealthy feelings towards the infant son but then few months later they are adopting another boy! Am I crazy or is there something wrong here?
First of all why didn't she seek immediate counselling, secondly why on earth would she want to adopt another child and thirdly why did the adoption agency allow this to happen.

This story does not have a happy ending. After five years this husband and wife give the boys back to the adoption agency. Once the boys were returned to the agency she goes on to say that she started to feel better. She started to feel better? What about the turmoil and emotional heartache she and her selfish husband have caused these boys? What about their biological children...for 5 years they are lead to believe these two little boys were their bothers their siblings, part of the family and now just because mom is suffering from "Post Adoption Depression" these boys become disposable. Shame on the parents and shame on a system that would allow this to happen.

The purpose of the article was to draw attention to this disorder...although this has not be officially recognized by the psychology as a disorder. Suffers do share very similar characteristics as moms who suffer from post partum depression.

Unfortunately, I didn't get that from this article at all. As I said I was angry...this to me just reinforces that children are dispensable....I can remember times when I was so sleep deprived because one of my children would be up all night with a cold, or crying or whatever and I can remember my mom(who had 12 children) saying " well you can't send them back, so you better get used to it"....harsh words maybe but true. Those days do pass....and no you can't send them back....but now apparently you can.....why did they chose to send the adoptive children back...why didn't they put their biological children up for adoption....so many questions I have about the actions of these parents and how that was allowed to happen.....shame on them....

Here is the article....Post-adoption Depression

In trying to find the above article on the Internet I did come across many research articles on this topic, so it is more common than I was aware of. Although this was the first article that I read that talked about the parents sending the children back to the adoption agency.

Where were these children's rights? How was this allowed. I think those parents need some serious counselling and the biological children would benefit from understanding that what their parents did was not the norm in adoption cases. What an extremely poor example they set for their biological children.