The school year is coming to a close and with that, anyone who has a child in Grade 12, by now is exhausted from all the graduation festivities.
I was reading in our local paper yesterday about a "special prom", or should I say "Gay Proms". According to this article, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender(GLBT) students were feeling discriminated against as they felt they couldn't go to their own proms. Some they say fear harassment. Others say they were told by their schools that they could not attend with a same sex date. According to the article there is legislation stating that GLBT have a legal right to bring a same sex date to prom or other school events. However many school districts ignore this legislation and won't allow same sex couples to prom. So what to do? Apparently now there are organizations and youth groups that support a separate GLBT prom.
The article titled these proms as Rainbow Prom. The participants of these proms say they really enjoy them and it provides them with an arena where they can be themselves. The author of the article interviewed a young student of 15 who will be attending his second prom this year.
I like to think of myself as open minded,liberal and that everyone has a right to freedom of speech and personal expression(as long as it doesn't hurt someone else I might add). With that being said this "Rainbow prom" just pushes the envelope for me.
High School is never easy. Students can be cruel I don't accept that, but unfortunately it does happen. Teenagers seem to fear people or things that are out of the norm for them, it pushes their personal comfort zone, and challenges them to think socially and responsibly. Some students excel in this others don't, and hence I gather the need for separate proms.
I can't help but wonder though that while the GLBT group want to be inclusive they also want to be separate. They don't want to be singled out and want the same rights as others and yet they feel it necessary to have their own prom. If they just want to be accepted and included why is it that they find the need to hold separate proms? And what about the 15 year old student who is attending the "Rainbow prom" for the SECOND time? What's up with that? As far as I know high school graduation happens once..not twice...and most certainly not when you are 15. So I ask you, is it truly a prom that these youths' are looking for or is it just an arena where they can hang out with similar minded people and genders? I don't know. It makes me wonder if they don't discriminate against themselves and the so called "straight group".
Most school districts have youth support groups and are far more open and accepting to GLBT individuals. I know that one of my daughters best friends during high school was gay and they had a great time and she never questioned his sexuality, she just loved his flamboyant bubbly personality.
High school can be a hard and cruel environment, a school of hard knocks, but I can't help but wonder if GLBT don't set themselves up by signally themselves out having their own prom.
This certainly gives me food for thought....what do you think?
6 comments:
An excellent post, Mary Anne, with some really hard questions, food for thought, contained within it.
My train of thought leans very much with yours on this issue. While I do believe it is grossly unfair to single anyone party out regardless of the circumstances -to omit them, to bully them, whatever -then by doing something this separate from the others, maybe they are giving a wide berth to the others to single them out. I really don't know what to think there to be completely honest.
However, as to the age of attendees and proms, etc., I know my cousins sons -neither of whom is of graduation age yet -have both attended proms last year and this year and at our school as well as at a neighboring school too. Our school though doesn't allow anyone over a specific age to attend the prom as a date which meant for the stepgranddaughter this year, she couldn't take her steady boyfriend as her date to the prom because he is 21 years old!
So many new rules, so many changes to the old methodology from my day and even to when my kids were in school and it is quite the conundrum then, isn't it?
Yes Jeni conundrum would be right. My girls weren't allowed to take anyone outside of school either and hence most students went to prom solo...or should I say...my daughter for example went with all her girlfriends...they all rented the limo and went as a group...my eldest went we all her girlfriends as her boyfriend was 21 and wasn't allowed to attend either....and my middle daughter did go with a boy...but again is was more of a group thing....
Yes it is all so very different from when I went to school.
I remember the humiliating experience of everyone sitting in the gym bleachers while a teacher drew names from two bowls - one for the girls' names and one for the boys'. When my name was called out, I was paired with a guy who was really popular and had been going steady with a popular girl. He HAD to take me, but on the drive home, I had to sit between him and his girlfriend in the front seat of his car. (He said that was because I was his date. Yeah, right!) And then they, of course, went off to an after-grad party while I went home. It all just - as the kids call it now - sucks! Just have everyone come solo and have a nice party where people can dance with whomever they want - or not. My older daughter didn't go because she hated school and most of the kids she went to school with! My younger daughter wouldn't have missed it and went with a nice boy who was a friend. Sigh! I'm glad that's all over with now.
An excellent post you have here. It will surely give me and Mike something extra to talk about over dinner tonight.
I think as long as the schools are accepting and supportive of same sex couples then it's better to have one prom. When I say the schools, it has to start with the teachers, and principal making it clear that no bad behavior will be tolerated towards anyone. I agree that high school isn't an easy time for anyone but the problem is when some schools have parents, teachers and other school officials that don't want same sex couples attending the prom together, it creates an environment making it easier for student bullies to get their way. Some student prejudices are supported and even started by their parents. To me that needs to change in society. I don't know what the answer is. I don't like the idea of a separate prom but the very fact that some schools try to discourage same sex couples attending, makes it hard for GLBT students to have as free and fun of an experience.
When I graduated from High School, 1,000 years ago, it was a lot less complicated. You got your final results, cleared out your desk, did the rounds of saying goodbye to teachers and friends - then went home to ge on with the next adventure in life.
Suited me just fine!
Post a Comment